Barkley vs. Bavetta

Arkansas Press Conference: Texas Week

2008-09-15T00:47:00.007-05:00

*Petrino talks to Agent on phone*

Petrino: Well how much are they offering?... Hmm I don't know how I feel about that city... No I don't have a problem with the air pollution... Well of course I'd quit coaching here in the middle of the season, but only tell them that if they offer me another mil...*to reporter* what was that?

Reporter: I said, Coach Petrino, How do you feel about Texas?

Petrino: Well, it's a good job, but I'm pretty sure they won't fire Mack Brown, and the whole state of Texas is pretty ridiculous.

Reporter: No, Coach, I mean the Texas game this weekend.

Petrino: Oh well it should be a good one, they pay Brown a lot of money, you pay me a lot of money, Everybody should get rich.

Reporter: How do you think the games going to turn out?

Petrino: Why should I give a fuck? As long as we don't beat the spread, I still win a cool $50,000.

*goes back to cell phone*

Petrino: Yeah, I know that I'm not looking to good at Arkansas right now... Well they left the cupboard bare. Besides if it doesn't work out, it's pretty easy to get out of a coaching job by saying that Michael Vick wasn't there. It worked last time.

Reporter: What did you do to start this weekend?

Petrino: Hold on let me get rid of these reporters *back to press* I went on some recruiting trips.

Reporter: Were there any good prospects?

Petrino: Well, I like the facilities and location at UCLA, but I don't know how I feel about being in Pete Carol's backyard. Arizona State was really nice though. Listen. I appreciate you all coming, but I've got a job to get... I mean do. Get in there Dick!

*Casey Dick bows down to him*

Dick: Yessir, Mr. Petrino, sir!
*Faces Reporters*

Dick: Hey dudes! What's shaking?

Reporter: Casey how prepared are you to deal with this Texas team?

Dick: Oh I was born ready! All I really needed was old Trigger here.

Reporter: Trigger?

Dick: BOOM!

*Flexes right arm and throws football out of reporters reach, into waiting arms of Alabama defensive back*

Reporter: Isn't that the kind of shenanigans that got you in trouble with Alabama?

Dick: No! I blame the wideouts. It was the offensive line's fault. The fans put too much pressure on me. Besides, where's the fun in playing Quarterback if you can't swing it all over the field?

Reporter: Maybe in Winning?

Dick: Fuck Winning! *Strikes Pose* Casey Dick for Heisman, bitches!

Catlanta gets hit!

2008-03-15T14:37:00.003-05:00

Atlanta was a blue place, but Catlanta will soon disperse, and the big blue machine will finish their drink , pack their bags and head home following the overtime victory of Georgia over Kentucky 60-56.

Big Foot Fool: I don’t know what to say about this game, except I love seeing the blue get on the highway and get out of town. In my hotel I heard Kentucky fans complaining on the elevator this morning about not getting to even see their team play, but It’s just deserts for them staying up all night doing their F*cking C-A-T-S cheer and keeping me awake.

JTExperience: Yeah, I almost feel bad for their fans, after having their game rescheduled after last night’s tornadoes, then not even being able to attend today, then losing in overtime...
Almost.
Heh. Suck it, Kentuck. C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS!!!

Big Foot Fool: I’m sure the Kentucky players actually prefer to not have their fans at the game. It’s like basketball games with your drunk alcoholic father: you’d almost rather go it alone. Georgia’s players look at that ratty mob of drunken blueberry crazies and just laugh. “Thank God all my Georgia crazies just watch the football team!” they say. Plenty of open seats now.

JTExperience: At least Kentucky has found a kind of equilibrium among the branches of Men’s Athletics…they had a superlative basketball program for so long, complemented by a shitty football team. Now, football has gotten up to mediocre, and basketball met them halfway. They’ve turned into a mediocre, underachieving athletic program with unrealistic expectations, or, the University of Arkansas.

Big Foot Fool: Yeah, but at least they are getting all of the media love to propel them into the NCAA tournament. OH man do you hear that? The bitching about the sideline runner? “Swallowed the Whistle?” Tell you what, how about we decide the game on the floor.

JTExperience: It just gives the sportscasters a chance to swallow Gillespie’s little whistle: “It was a great coaching move; I don’t care that it’s not called often, it was a brilliant coaching move that the officials didn’t call.” [suck, suck, suck, swallow]

Big Foot Fool: Speaking of swallowing, what about all 12 inches that Billy Donovan gave to the worst performers of the SEC tournament, 2-year champion Florida Geightors? I barely had time to see any jorts running away from them ternaders with them getting punked in the first round by Bama.

JTExperience: ‘ey dog, ‘ey. I love jorts. They’re really comfortable, and stylish.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it must be great to be Mississippi State right now. Here guys, you get to play against a team who’s already played a game today. Seriously though, it’ll be pretty pathetic if Miss. State loses. If I know anything, it’s that the Bulldogs will come out on top.
Tee-hee.

Big Foot Fool: What are you on crack? No one comes out on top in this game… Basketball loses.
Score
F-2 Tornado 1Basketball 0
Okay so Tennessee will probably take down Arkansas in the game this afternoon, and Miss. St. can sleep through the game against UGA. I say Tennessee takes the tournament by 20 points over Miss. St.

JTExperience: Dude, whatever. Arkansas is SO going to win. We can’t be stopped. We’re unstoppable, if you will. We’ll run all over Tennessee this afternoon, then even though Jamont Gordon is stacked like a muh-effin’ Adonis (no homo), the Razorbacks will Michael Vick all over the bulldogs.

Big Foot Fool: Effin’ homer.

Dolphins win?

2007-12-16T15:20:00.000-06:00

Holy Hell!?!

This blows... I wanted 0-16

Psycho Fan Expectations

2007-11-29T14:06:00.000-06:00

I'm sick of it.

I read a LOT about sports. I read many articles discussing everything from Tennis to College Football to Track and Field. Most of what I read is college football, and I get dissappointed from time to time when I read an article and Arkansas (MY TEAM) doesn't get any attention alongside the competition.

We recently lost Houston Nutt. All signs point to him being fired and allowed to go out looking good and with his pockets lined by the stupidest University Official, Chancellor John White, who is a good Chancellor, but he needs to stay out of the athletic program. Members of the national media are saying that the reason he is gone, and the reason why a coach wouldn't want to come to Arkansas is because our fan base has ridiculous expectations.

I wish they would label it properly as SOME of our fan base has ridiculous expectations. A call went up throughout the Razorback nation before the North Texas game that if you thought Nutt should be gone, you should wear black to the game... It looked pretty Cardinal to me. Out of 70,000 fans, maybe 2,000 were wearing black. There were banners flying at some games, but it's not like the members of the Razorback Foundation planned that. It was just some assholes on a message board.

So before people go around saying we have a psycho fan base without realistic expectations, look at it really. We do have some psycho fans, who have been given too much power in this day and age of the internet and FOIA requests to make their feelings known. But don't let anyone feed you this shit about our fans. Our fans have class and love for the team. Our fans have a respect for the past, and Houston will not be the one getting booed when Ole Miss comes to town next year. It will be the rebels who get booed.

Our fans did not cheer for the Mizzou Tigers last night, and they gave their all to help the razorbacks take a win over the tigers, but when Mike Anderson was introduced last night he got a 30 second standing ovation.

The Razorback Nation takes pride in their hogs, and we are all well aware of the massive improvement Houston was on the previous administration. If anyone can say that Houston was fired due to psycho fans with unrealistic expectation after the team just went 10-4 and 8-4 following two seasons of 5-6 and 4-7 they are blowing smoke right up your ass. If people want to say it was due to his off the field problems caused by himself, the coach he hired, and the players he recruited dealing with a small portion of the fan base that just wants to see passing, then you might have something. But otherwise, stay away from my team and my fellow fans.

WOO Pig Sooie!

Hello Dallas, Bye Bye Houston.

2007-11-23T20:07:00.000-06:00

The Hogs are Cotton Bowl bound after crushing LSU's National Championship hopes in a 50-48 triple-overtime win in Baton Rouge.

Against pretty much the best ~~defense~~ team in the nation, the Razorbacks put up 513 yards total, with 388 of those on the ground in the "Battle for the Boot."

The LSU Tigers have not allowed a 100 yard rusher all season.
Darren McFadden had 206. And 3 touchdowns. And one TD throw.

What's a guy got to do to win a Heisman around here?
As amazing as he was, it was a team effort. LSU had no answer to the triumvirate of McFadden-Jones-Hillis. Along with D-Mac's 3 touchdowns, Hillis had 3, and Jones was crucial in OT, running in the final 2-point conversion.

Poor wikkle tigers.
Lose their title hopes, and most likely their coach to the Wolverines.

Speaking of...Sorry Houston. You've pulled out the biggest win of your Arkansas career, but you're still out. All that this proves is your inconsistency. I wish you well, but (as a UA student and Razorback fan) I'm not sorry to see you go. Well done, but...holla' atcha boy.

But that's for later. Until then, I'll see you guys at the Cotton Bowl.

Stop Teasing Us

2007-11-17T07:41:00.000-06:00

Hog fans all across Arkansas were belabored by news outlets and more informing us that Houston Nutt was out at the end of the year. Fired. Gone. Ended. No longer in Fayetteville, but it was all lies... apparently.

I still love the e-mail I got from the school news paper with breaking news, that the sports editor had confirmed it.

The school released information later saying that it was all rumors and blah blah blah.

Who cares. I'd be interesed in how many phone calls and e-mails the athletic department and Chancellor White recieved and which way they went. At this point, it's basically stuff like this that could distract our team and make us lose lose lose. Or could enspire them, but sometimes even inspired teams can lose with bad coaching.

Whatda F--k's up?

2007-11-15T09:17:00.000-06:00

Tennis doesn't really make sense to me. I mean I love the sport, and I love watching the games and the matches, but the tournaments usually don't make a lot of sense to me. Same thing with Soccer, but I only have to talk about that once every four years, so I'll hold off until USA's next World Cup Flop.

This is the standings prior to day 6 at the Tennis Master's Cup in Shanghai. Federer was ranked number one to start the tournament and he starts off his round robin with the 4, 5, and 7 seeds. Meanwhile over in the Gold group, they have 2, 3, 6, and 8. I guess that's a fair balance, and I'm not exactly sure how I would choose to break up the round robin. I think the traditional style would be randomly assign first round matches, winners play each other and losers play each other, Go for three rounds until you have a 3-0 and 3 2-1 that way it's clear cut.

So anyway the way it looks right now... The gold group is decided, from there you have David Ferrer at 3-0 and Rafeal Nadal at 2-1. The red group, Andy Roddick (the other ARod) is through to the semifinals, but it's between Roger Federer and Fernando Gonzalez who gets the top spot. Gonzo already beat the swiss man, but unless Fed loses to Arod, Ferndando is going home, even if he beats the cheater Nikolay Davydenko.

Whatda F--k's up wit dat? If they are both 2-1, or 1-2, which should you look at first, head-to-head or Sets won and lost? I say head-to-head, but the Tennis master's cup round robin looks at sets won and lost... so when Fed was able to take 1 set from the Chilean, it was better than the win for Gonzo.

It looks like it will probably be a non-issue, as Fed hasn't lost to Roddick since August of '03 and Nikolay Daveydenko owns Gonzalez with a 3-0 record. It looks like it's gonna be 2-1 Fed and Roddick in the semis.

My other issue with tennis seeding is in all of the major tournaments. It's like you have 32 seeds right and 1 plays 17 and then 9 and then 5 and then 3. How can that sit right in any sports aficianado's mind? 1 plays 32 then 16, then 8, then 4. Sure they Number one seed still has the easiest road, but it just doesn't sit right with me.

This is a notice to Tennis. Cooperate! Do as you're told. Get your weirdo system in line with the sports in this nation, or I'll have to bust your balls internationally in all the countries that you are played in. I mean seriously... Whatda F--k's up?

Charles Thomas Loves Fried Chicken

2007-11-14T10:50:00.000-06:00

When Charles Thomas came to Arkansas as a freshman he weighed 245 lbs.

Coach John Pelphrey and Conditioning coach Kelly Lambart have been working with Charles to get down to 225 which means one thing for the Senior Forward from Jackson, MS.

He can no longer eat his favorite food... Fried Chicken.

"After our last game, I'm probably going straight to Popeye's, but not during the season." With the hogs picked to win the SEC west and finish 2nd overall in the SEC, it may be a long time before the Manimal gets his Fried Chicken as they are hoping to make a deep run into the NCAA tournament.

Word on the Street

2007-11-12T14:56:00.000-06:00

The word on the street is that Tennessee quieted McFadden. Everyone is saying that, but Darren went out and got 117 yards on a day when the offense wasn't doing much. While 117 yards is 42 yards below Dmac's avg yards/game, it is still higher than what any other running back averages on a game day with another SEC team.

Knowshon Moreno - 106.29
Felix Jones - 90.17
Terry Grant - 87.57
Arian Foster - 85.33
Ben-Jarvus Green-Ellis - 81.33
Anthony Dixon - 80.33
Tim Tebow - 73.38 (though he does lead all other backs in TDs with 16)

Arkansas Sorority Girls

2007-11-08T18:11:00.001-06:00

Grizzlie's get first win

2007-11-08T15:17:00.000-06:00

After losing to the Spurs and the Pacers at home, the grizzlies took 0-2 on the road to Seattle where they came away with a win from the 0-5 Supersonics and Kevin Durant.

Kevin Durant and Rudy Gay are friends and Durant often calls and talks to the Memphis forward, but the calls may not come for awhile after Gay laid 25 points and 10 rebounds to help push the Griz over the Supersonics.

The Lesbian Gym Teacher Mike Miller also added 20 points and the grizzlies are 1/22 on their way to equaling their win total from last year.

Marc Iavaroni got his first win as a head coach.

You know there really isn't a whole lot of interesting about this game except for the fact that natoriously bad for rebounding, Memphis grabbed 25 O. Rebounds against the Sonics. PJ Carlesimo (owner of the gayest name in proffesional sports except that forward for Memphis) was furious with his team for allowing that. In the closing seconds, Kyle Lowery grabbed his own offensive rebound and then drained a 3 pointer to seal the game up.

The key to slowing down a 6-9 Rookie scoring machine that averages 24 points per game like Durant? "Getting into his body and try to alter his shot," Gay said.

Durant ended with 17 points on 3-17 shooting.

SEC Basketball Player Profile - Ramel Bradley

2007-11-08T12:33:00.000-06:00

Ramel Bradley questions a call against Mississippit St. in last years SEC tournament where the bulldogs sent the blue clad fans home from Atlanta early.

Name: Ramel Bradley
Position: Guard
Class: Senior
Height: 6' 2"
Nickname: Ball Hog

Ramel Bradley likes it when the ball is in his hands. He is pretty much a ballhog and the Kentucky fans have been known to call him on his selfishness. In his junior season his assist numbers went way up under the final year being coached by Tubbie Smith.

In Wednesday Night's Coaches vs. Cancer game in Rupp Arena, Ramel led all scorers with 24 points on 4-11 shooting. The key is he got to the line. 14 times. That's a lot of free throws and he made every last one of them. And for being a ball hog he led his team in assists also with 3 of them. Ramel might be blossoming under Billy Gillespie, but 24 points in a losing effort is still a losing effort. Ramel's 4-11 from the field is a little better than the overall 22-62 for the whole wildcat team which only went 9 deep and had Ramel Bradley playing a full 40 minutes.

Once again, a team that you wouldn't think could beat Kentucky beats them, and the Wildcat faithful are left with tickets they can't use. Madison Square Garden looked to have been full of Blue with Memphis already punching their ticket and UConn a likely favorite to be there in the semifinals, but Kentucky couldn't cut it and now their fans will be sitting at home.

Ramel is a good player and looks to be one of the prominent scorers on this very talented Kentucky team. He should have a good season, but he doesn't seem like a good pro prospect with his limited shooting ability and only being 6'-2".

As for everyone not associated with the Kentucky basketball program? Everyone is excited, and a little afraid. We all know Kentucky has good talent and a talented coach, but we were all kinda hoping that they would think they could just coast on that for the season. Losing this game early will mean 1 of 2 things.

1. Kentucky is really bad. Gillespie doesn't know how to coach and his players were way overhyped. They will plummet to the bottom of the SEC and make a run in the NIT.

2. Kentucky is going to play the rest of the season all crazy-like. They are going to become aware that talent and reputation will get you 0 wins and they will be out to prove they are the best.

I think it's the latter and other teams that have Kentucky on the schedule might be saying "aww s--t" right now.

Ramel Bradley hopes so. He can score and can play ball, but he and his team will have to get better on defense and execute on the offensive side of the ball, or the Kentucky faithful will be saying "aww s--t" a lot this season.

Todd Boeckman for Heisman

2007-11-07T22:44:00.000-06:00

If you ever watch SportsCenter, then you might have run into Skip Bayless claiming that Todd Boeckman should be the Heisman favorite because he is the best offensive player on the number one ranked team in the nation.

A few reasons why this is the dumbest thing ever stated

Skip Bayless is an idiot
Todd Boeckman blows
Ohio St. may have the number one ranking, but they suck.
If OSU gets in the national title they will get blown out again.
Skip Bayless is really stupid
Darren McFadden is amazing
Timmy Tebow has ridiculous numbers
Skip Bayless eats babies

Advice to Current and Future ADs

2007-11-07T09:37:00.000-06:00

Ok, so Jeff, Frank, I've brought you guys to my BigFooted and Foolish part of the world to implore you to do something. While asking for this makes me feel dirty and disgusting, I just have to do it.

As you know, in the past I have called for Houston Nutt's Firing. Or at least agreed with those that have. At this point, I don't think he should be coaching the Razorbacks, but you probably can't fire him. Judging by the turmoil surrounding college football, you may have trouble luring another coach out of a good job to come to Arkansas. I'm sure you've got some coaches on the radar, and I'm sure they might be telling you they are interested or at least will be after the season is over, but even if Houston tanks, loses three games, and goes 6-6 your best bet is probably keeping him longer.

Of the schools that will have vacant coaching positions next year, these are the ones I would rank above the Arkansas job.

UCLA
Notre Dame
Texas A&M
Nebraska
Michigan

The word on the street is Tubberville is going to A&M and if that happens then Auburn is up for grabs and that job is at least on Par with the Arkansas job and it will just make it that much harder to suceed.

So go ahead and talk to some guys. Make sure you are in case Houston decides to jump ship to another school, but be prepared for the fact that firing Houston could be a bad idea. I'm not saying he's a good coach, but he's better than no coach. You don't have anyone on your staff that would make a good head coach at this point in their career, but maybe you could start grooming someone.

Be prepared, because the head coaching market is gonna be flooded soon. If you do start talking to people, I would get these guys in this order.

Mark Mangino - Kansas
Chris Peterson - Boise St.
Rich Rodriguez - West Virginia
Jerry Moore - Appalachian State - If you feel like gambling

SEC Basketball Top to Bottom

2007-11-06T22:25:00.000-06:00

Tennessee
Arkansas
Mississippi St.
Florida
Vanderbilt
Kentucky
Ole Miss
Auburn
South Carolina
Alabama
LSU
Georgia

Tennessee is the clear favorite to start the season.
Arkansas easily returns the most non-Chris Lofton Talent with tons of good big men and Patrick Beverley
Mississippi St. has an excellent back court with Jamont Gordon and Ben Hansbrough.
Florida has had some of the best recruiting classes it's not a question of 'if' they'll be good, it's just when.
Vanderbilt - two words - Shan Foster - My pick for SEC player of the year
Kentucky has some good talent and a coach that has been able to do wonders turning teams around, imagine what he can do with 2-Pat and Ramel Bradley
Ole Miss - Williams and Curtis are probably the 2nd best front-court in the SEC. Andy Kennedy will do good things.
Auburn had some solid wins last season and are very experienced. Their lack of big men keeps them from the top.
South Carolina lacks scorers. Dave Odom has been able to work magic in the past, but he can't get good players in Columbia.
Alabama would be so much higher if Ronald Steele was playing, but he's not. It's all up to Gee and Hendrix, I just don't see good things for this team.
LSU has slipped mightily since their Elite Eight run 2 years ago. Tasmin Mitchell is their only good player.
Georgia only has Sundiata Gaines. It could be a long season for the bull dogs

The west is pretty weak and the top 6 are really the only teams that will make any noise this year. All of the top 6 should get in the NCAA Tourney this year and Tennessee, Arkansas, and Mississippi St. should be dancing for more than one weekend. Kentucky is WAY overrated this season.

SEC Basketball Player Profile - Korvotney Barber

2007-11-05T12:33:00.000-06:00

Name: Korvotney Barber

Position: Forward

Class: Junior

Height: 6' 7"

Nickname: Doesn't need one... No one else has that name

Korvotney is one of five double digit scorers for an Auburn team that will return a lot of experience, but not a lot of sucess. At 6-7 Korvotney and Josh Dollard had trouble getting points in the paint and this Auburn team relied a lot on outside scoring. That looks like it could be the case again this year with most of the height being on the 7 foot 1 inch shoulders of freshman Boubacar Sylla.

With 6 Double-Doubles from last year Korvotney looks to be a force in the paint rebounding and scoring. The Tigers are severely overmatched by most of the SEC's big men.

In Jeff Lebo's 4th year the Tigers hope to improve on a 17-15 season in which they swept in state rival Alabama and beat Vandy, the Vols, the Hogs, and LSU at home.

Korvotney Barber wants ta cut yo hair!

Barkley vs. Bavetta Heisman Watch

2007-11-05T11:19:00.000-06:00

Right now you really are down to 5 Heisman Candidates: Tim Tebow, Darren McFadden, Dennis Dixon, Matt Ryan, and Mike Hart. Possible Darkhorse, Pat White.

I'm gonna break down what has to happen for each of these candidates to win the coveted BvB Heisman which has way more value and homerism than the real award delivered in New York every December.

The current BvB standings are:

Dennis Dixon
Tim Tebow
Darren McFadden
Matt Ryan
Mike Hart

Dennis Dixon needs to keep winning. With games left at Arizona and UCLA with a home game against Oregon St. It seems very possible for the Ducks to make it to 11-1 with a berth to the title game or the Rose Bowl. Of the 5 candidates, His team is the best team and highest ranked in the country. If all 5 candidates stay undefeated and Dixon's injury doesn't affect him, then he will be the winner.

Tim Tebow needs to keep scoring and winning. If the gators drop any of their remaining three games, Tebow is out. If the Florida Defense can't keep the Gamecock offense off the field next week, Tebow will have to take the game over and keep scoring. If that happens, it will be a huge bonus to his chances, but Tebow may be out of luck if no one knocks off the ducks. If Oregon loses or if Dixon doesn't perform then Tebow will be able to beat out the rest of the candidates.

Darren McFadden knows what it is like to get close to that trophy. He has had a tough time getting healthy this season, and a tougher time being able to help his team win. The strange thing is Spurrier is right, if McFadden doesn't get his bell rung in that Alabama game, and if his ribs stayed healthy the hogs could be undefeated and sitting atop the BCS right now. Darren needs close games to help his Heisman hopes. The razorbacks can't jump out to 3 score leads that they hold the whole game or Nutt is going to bench his bread and butter and save him for the rest of the season. Tennessee is a team he can perform well against statistically and pulling a win out of knoxville will help him. He needs a monster game against LSU and somehow pulling out a victory to put himself ahead of the other candidates. A 5-3 conference record could be just the thing to put him on top, but once again Dixon winning will be insurmountable.

Matt Ryan really hurt himself this weekend. After a bad statistical performance against Virginia Tech and the 3 interceptions and loss to FSU, he might be done for. Clemson and Miami might be tough games, too. Boston College has slipped to 8 in the BCS, but Matt Ryan won't get the Heisman unless he has some more Boston Magic like the magic that gave Flutie the award in 1984. It will take a lot of faltering by the other candidates before Ryan comes up with it.

Mike Hart has been quietly working against the 0-2 start the Wolverines experienced. His yardage has been better than McFadden's, but his competition inferior. With only one 200 yard outing, he has been consistent and has had 100 yard games in all 8 games he's played in. With only 2 more games to perform in he is going to need a huge performance to get into Heisman contention. Not to mention the fact that he has so many players ahead of him that might fail. Without a huge performance against Wisconsin or Ohio St. he won't even get invited.

BigFootFool's prediction for the Heisman winner: Darren McFadden

Here's the scoop, Dennis Dixon's knee will hamper him more than he thinks, and while the Ducks will win out limited playing time and poor performances against Arizona and UCLA will leave him behind. Tim Tebow has monster stats, but a loss to South Carolina will put the gators off any chance at an SEC championship game and will derail his heisman hopes. Darren McFadden will put up 200 yard games against Tennessee and Mississippi St. At LSU, whether the hogs will win or not won't matter as Darren will have a stiff arm against Glen Dorsey that gets played so often on Sportscenter the voters won't be able to get McFadden out of their head. Darren wins by the narrowest margin in voting history.

Interview with Frank Broyles

2007-11-05T10:36:00.000-06:00

BFF: I'm sitting here in my office where Frank Broyles has been kind enough to come meet with me and give me a rare interview. He should be joining me shortly.

(Door Flies Open)

Frank Broyles: Get up!

BFF: What?

FB: I said Get up! When I enter an office it becomes mine, it started that way when I was coaching up in Missourri and it's been that way ever since. I sit behind the desk. I'm in Houston Nutt's office so often he works from the visitors side of the desk.

BFF: Umm ok, let me get my stuff together.

(We switch places)

BFF: So Coach, thanks for meeting with me, I know you are a very busy man, and it's great of you to take time out of your busy schedule to meet with me.

FB: Well, son, my schedule isn't that busy it pretty much consists of me hounding Houston Nutt all day and making sure he doesn' F--k up MY Football program.

BFF: Oh, of course. So Saturday night must have been a very special night for you. Having all of those former players honoring you at halftime and having the field named after you. Even Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones came....

(Door Flies Open)

JJ: YEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAWWWW Mutha Fuc...

FB: Leave me alone Jerry!

JJ: But someone said my name

FB: I don't care if offered to give you a $10 handjob you're in my office now and you're gonna get the hell out of it right now! Go back to Dallas you crazy Bastard!

JJ: Yes sir

(Jerry Jones leaps out of the window and opens a parachute)

FB: Sorry about that, now where were we?

BFF: Oh, well I was asking you how it was to have such a special experience on Saturday with your last home game as Athletic Director.

FB: It sucked. They name the Field after me? I want the whole damn school named after me. It should be University of Frank Broyles with the team being called the Razorbroyles! People will call the Franks and the team will never throw another forward pass.

BFF: Oh well I'm sure you were honored by all the former players there though right?

FB: Oh sure, like I need more kissasses like Jerry Jones up my butt for a weekend. At least I got some Catfish out of it. We love catfish. You ever go Noodling?

BFF: Um no, what's noodling?

FB: Well basically, you stick your hand in a hole, and a catfish grabs it, and then you yank him out by the gills and you tell him to F--K OFF before you skin him and eat him. Best thing in the world.

BFF: That's very interesting, Coach can you tell me a little bit about the Athletic program at Arkansas? How have you been dealing with everything with the offseason scandals involing your head coach, recruits, and former Offensive Coordinator Gus Malzahn?

FB: Houston handled the whole thing terribly. First off, if it were me Gus wouldn't gotten a ticket on a Bus halfway through last season when his little supposed wunderkind threw his first interception. In my day we didn't pass that much. In my day you ran the ball and then ran the ball some more. You recruited wide recievers and told them you would pass to them, but then told them that you would only pass to them if they did a good job blocking. It was a brilliant system. With running the ball you control the clock and you put the fans in the stands into a stupor. Sure you may not win more than one disputed national championship, but you know what f--k them. Running the ball is the only way you can play football in Arkansas. As for Mitch Mustain, he and his mom can suck my big FAT--

BFF: Alright thanks for the interview coach any last words as we bring this interview to a close?

FB: Yes, I'd like to say something about the basketball team's 117-43 victory in exhibition Friday night.

BFF: Oh yeah, I saw that game it was really great.

FB: Are you blind son? That was terrible. I'm announcing Pelphrey's Firing immediately. I'm not gonna have any of that high flying, high scoring stuff. That's just why I fired Nolan Richardson. I want us to play slow methodical basketball that will put the fans into a stupor... Makes Concession sales go higher!

Darren McFadden is Arkansas

2007-11-05T09:04:00.000-06:00

The Razorbacks were able to win their 2nd conference game against their every year opponent South Carolina on Saturday night with help from Darren McFadden and his 321 rushing yards. What a beast!

He is pictured here (courtesy of ESPN.com) with head coach Houston Nutt celebrating the 48-36 win.

Darren McFadden can credit a lot of this great day on the ground for him to the offensive line, but I think having Felix Jones being a credible threat running on the outside during 16 plays where McFadden took the snap and handed off or faked to jones who amassed over 160 yards and 3 touchdowns himself.

The hogs gained bowl eligibility with this win and while they are not mathematically eliminated from a share of the SEC west game, they are playing for respectability, for their Seniors, and for Heisman chances of Darren McFadden. Some people might say they are playing for their coach, and that is completely respectable. They are closer to their coach and they may see the things in a different light than the fans.

This is a great day to celebrate and later this week I will be posting a Barkleyvs.bavetta exclusive interview with outgoing Athletic Director, Frank Broyles.

Now I'll post my favorite Steve Spurrier post game quotes.

"[Arkansas] guys can block,” he said. “They know how to block, which is what linemen are supposed to do. Someday we’re going to have some blockers around here.”

“They didn’t need to throw [11 passes]. … To sum up the game, they pitch the ball to [McFadden ]. He drops it, hits the ground, rolls around a little bit, he picks it up, lobs it in the end zone and we can’t knock it down. And their guy outfights us for the ball. When those kind of things happen, shoot, I don’t know what you can do as a coach except just say, ‘Hey, those other guys just want it more or are better than you or superior up front. ’”

" It looked like a Division III team playing a SEC team, " Spurrier said. " I think the Division III team could have made more plays [on defense] than we did. "

“Arkansas should be a three-touchdown favorite over Tennessee next week.” “ Now I’m just going on two games [against Tennessee last week and Arkansas on Saturday ], but it probably won’t be [a 21-point spread ], ” Spurrier said. “Arkansas is a dang good team, but obviously a lot more physical and stronger than we are.”

This last quote is from Alabama Safety Rashad Johnson when asked if the LSU game was the most physical game he'd been in this season. “I don’t think it was the most physical,” he said. “I think the most physical game I’ve played in since I’ve been here was the Arkansas game. Those guys are really physical.” Rashad Johnson is a Junior for the Tide.

Basketball Season is nigh!

2007-11-02T10:48:00.001-05:00

The Razorbacks take on West Florida tonight at Bud Walton Arena for an exhibition game. Here are some images to get you amped for the Razorback Basketball season.

The Manimal, Charles Thomas, shoots against South Carolina Forward Bryce Sheldon during the 2007 SEC tournament

Patrick Beverly lays it in against USC during the 2007 NCAA 1st round in Spokane, WA

Darian Townes boxes out for a rebound during the SEC tournament

Arkansas Center Steven Hill hangs on the rim after a dunk in Bud Walton Arena

SEC Basketball Player Profile - Kenny Williams

2007-11-02T09:49:00.000-05:00

Kenny Williams goes up against some girl playing in the WNBA now.... Look how beautiful that beard is!

Name: Kenny Williams
Position: Forward

Height: 6'8"

Class: Senior

Nickname: Kenny "The BEARD" Williams

Kenny Williams has a beard. It is beautiful. While Dwayne Curtis is the high scorer and marquee player for Andy Kennedy's team, Kenny Williams' Beard will sell the tickets in Oxford. Kenny Williams Beard and 240 lbs on a 6'-8" frame will intimidate opposition. His 7.1 pts per game won't get him any double teams, but he'll be right there for Dwayne Curtis to up his assist totals.

The Ole Miss rebels won't be making too much noise around the conference due to their lack of good guard play, but the big men inside will be making plenty of noises and continue being a powerful force inside the paint. The team must be a little flustered at being picked so low after standing atop the SEC West with Miss. St. last season.

Kenny Williams beard won't be flustered though. His Beard is gonna stand in the paint and block the best of them. The odd thing is with so much leaving from the SEC this past season Arkansas, Mississippi, and Mississippi St. will be the teams with the best inside games in the SEC. Kenny Williams' beard is excited about those games. He wakes up every morning and trims his beard, combs it out, and then heads to basketall practice. Ole Miss Coeds have been known to remove their panties and throw them to the beard unsolicited.

Kenny Williams has a beard on par with the beard of Chuck Norris, and this season he intends to use it.

Defending the Court, and Shanghai

2007-11-01T11:05:00.000-05:00

I think they should make Roger Federer's 30 feet tall with 8 arms and 8 tennis Raquets.

Grizzlie's don't win...

2007-11-01T10:17:00.000-05:00

but they showed up.

“They gave us all we could handle. They looked like a playoff team. They figured out Coach Iavaroni’s system pretty darn well on both ends of the court,” Popovich said. “I thought they were very, very good. I was a little bit surprised that a team could figure things out that quickly in the season. They’re going to have one hell of a year, and I’m not trying to blow smoke at them or anything. I really believe that. I thought they executed offensively better than we did. Defensively they did a good job, stopped us in a lot of ways.”

3 foreigners, the face of pro basketball has changed

Mr. Longoria had a good game though

Rudy Gay with a great lay in on the fast break.
I think the hand their is to protect him from all the Gay

Mike Millers Hair?
Yep... Still terrible. 11 pts 10 boards isn't a bad night though.

Yabba Dabba Doooo!

2007-11-01T10:06:00.000-05:00

"You'll have a gay old time"

Hogs Running Backs Darren and McFadden showed off their halloween costumes in the student union yesterday and plan to seel the uniforms for charity. The two razorbacks were greeted by media and student and a surprisingly large number of Betty and Wilma costumes were then sold at every costume store in fayetteville by eager young girls hoping to make millions off the future pro stars in child support.

SEC Basketball Player Profile - Shan Foster

2007-11-01T09:47:00.000-05:00

Shan Foster celebrates a victory in the NCAA Tournament last year.

Name: Shan Foster
Position: Guard - Forward
Height: 6'6"

Class: Senior

Nickname: N/A you can't give a nickname to a Vandy guy

Of all 12 players I am featuring, Shan Foster can execute a backdoor cut better than any of them. The Vanderbilt players are like Ninjas, one second they have the ball at the top of the key and then they throw the ball to the wing and the smoke bomb and the next second they are recieving the ball under the basket for an easy lay up. It's that crazy Princeton offense that regular basketball players can't understand. You have to be smart, you have to be Vandy smart.

The Commodores have lost 2 starters from last years sweet 16 team, but are looking at preseason All-SEC First Teamer Shan Foster to lead them into a tough SEC east. Last years team started and ended the season with games against Georgetown, but coach Kevin Stallings has selected a more conservative approach with in state Austin Peay coming to town for a matchup in the Stage that is Memorial Colliseum, where the teams and coaches sit under the basket.

Shan Foster may not be everything this team needs as they expect to rely on Freshman Andrew Ogilvy from Australia in the center, or is it Austria?

Choose your own adventure!

2007-10-31T15:05:00.000-05:00

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/2007/10/31/choose-your-own-rodventure-the-saga-of-alex-rodriguez/

AOL Fanhouse has posted one of the funniest sports related things on the internet, and it is proof that A-Rod will probably never be happy. Almost every alternative seems pretty realistic,

but we don't talk about baseball.

SEC Arkansas vs. South Carolina preview

2007-10-31T09:07:00.000-05:00

Casey Dick always will hold the South Carolina game dear to his heart. Maybe it's not as gay as that, but his freshman year, Houston Nutt opened the floodgates by removing the redshirt as everywhere someone was trying to come up with the raunchiest way of saying "Dick to replace Johnson for Nutt against Cocks!" While he was mediocre in that first game, Razorback fans were more excited to see someone more like a gunslinger out there. His replacement of Mitch Mustain in 2006 to the tune of 11/19 for 228 yards(which is still his career high) wasn't bad, but it was Darren McFadden's career high 219 yards and 2 touchdowns that gave the hogs the lead that they wouldn't lose.

The Gamecock Defense is improved over last year going from 9th in the conference to 5th in the conference, but the rush defense has gotten a little worse. Darren McFadden and Felix Jones look to run hogwild over the Cocks, but with Darren McFadden injured and Wide Reciever Marcus Monk below full strength it looks like this game could be decided by the running games. though Blake Mitchell has never had spectacular games against the hogs, his 2nd half comeback nearly broke the hogs until Darius Vinnet picked him off to seal the game for the razorbacks.

The keys to the game will be defense. How well South Carolina can stack the line to stop the run and how well Arkansas secondary can cover the pass. Arkansas started off the season ranked 10th in total defense, but in the month of October the hogs were 1st in defense as they fed on a steady diet of cupcakes, a low scoring game with Auburn, and the most pathetic team in the SEC, Ole Piss.

The other question will be if Casey Dick can throw it well enough. The hogs might be in trouble if they have to see this too much.

Bigfootfool Game Prediction

South Carolina 31
Arkansas 17

Arkansas may have been able to move the ball against Ole Miss, but that doesn't mean squat. The razorbacks passing defense was lucky enough to scare Auburn from attacking the secondary and forced them to use the ground game. With a wily coach on the other sideline like Nick Saban expect the Gamecocks to be able to score against this defense. All of the defensive momentum the razorbacks have is false belief and this game will expose them. South Carolina's defense is one of the best in the league and with Darren McFadden's sore ribs, expect them to beat him around the corner and drop him for loss.

JTExperience Game Prediction:

I think you give these defenses too little credit. I see this a slugfest, much like the Auburn game. S.C. is coming off a tough loss to the Vols, and the Razorbacks have turned the corner. D-Mac might not be at full strength, but Felix is teabagging dudes all over the place. The way I see it:

Arkansas 20
S.C. 16

Go Hogs. Beat Cocks.

SEC Basketball Player Profile - Walter Hodge

2007-10-31T08:52:00.000-05:00

Name: Walter Hodge
Height: 6' 0"

Position: Guard
Class: Junior
Nickname: El Walter from Puerto Rico

El Walter is the oldest player on a very young team. Very few teams will get picked to even come close to 3rd in the SEC east with No seniors and only one junior. This team will be light on experience. They are already giving Billy Donovan back spasms, but you can't really count out a Billy Donovan team because they are all young.

El Hodge has played from the bench and started about 11 games in his two years at Florida. It should be expected to see him playing the shooting to Freshman Jai Lucas's point. With 50% shooting from beyond the arc his play will be key for this team. His Three point shooting actually has a higher percentage than Lee Humphrey, but with Humphrey taking about 200 more 3's than Hodge last year, don't expect him to be the same deadly threat, especially as offenses will be able to key in on Hodge with the rest of the lineup not being nearly as formidable.

Hodge needs to step up and become a leader for this team. He and sophomore Marreese Spights are the only players with solid playing time returning to this team. The biggest worry for Donovan will be if Hodge starts getting into Foul trouble. Even in sparing minutes last year Fouls became an issue for Hodge.

It Has Begun.

2007-10-30T19:33:00.000-05:00

The thing that keeps us going through the dark times.

The only respite from The Worldwide Leader fellating the Pats and Colts every Sportscenter Reset.

"Where amazing happens."

29 of last 30. By one guy.

5o+ points...four times in a row.

The piercingly beautiful synergy of a MV3-STAT oop.

The quietly nasty consistency of WALK-TGP.

11 of 11 for buzzer-beaters over 25 feet, while cheating at halo and stealing the rookie's car. He's crazy.

The (still?) birth of a Supersonic Hero.

It's impossible to resist the Pau-er of the Darko Side.

The Three Big Shamrocks with their Likkle Rajon and Big Baby, The Original Big Three, the Fattest Frontcourters and Paycheckers, The Bosh-Bargs, and the New AI...all in the same division. Was the worst, now the best?

Will the man with sad eyes win a playoff series?

Will Boom Dizzle, Captain Jackson, Bellinelli, and NellieBelly topple kings? (again?)

That's why we watch the NBA.

Coach Brings the Crowd to Their Feet

2007-10-30T09:01:00.000-05:00

John Pelphrey electrified Kentucky crowds for 4 years on his way to being an All-American for Sutton and Pitino's teams in the early '90s. Friday night, he donned a white jersey and showed off some of his skills ending the night 1/3 from the field and the arc with 2 rebounds a steal and an assist in just a few minutes of playing time.

John Pelphrey is hoping to bring even more winning ways to the favorites to win the SEC west Arkansas Razorbacks, but if he really has that killer winning edge, he needs to show more of it. The white team lost the game. All kidding aside the 5,842 on hand for the red-white scrimmage will almost immediately approve of Pelphrey over former coach Stan Heath for his antics on the court that night. The coach playing against his players and getting into the game is marked departure from the quiet calm of former coach Stan Heath aka Montel Williams.

"I miss playing. If I could play today, I would still be playing. The only reason I'm in coaching is because it's the closest thing to playing"

SEC Basketball Player Profile - Chris Lofton

2007-10-30T08:41:00.001-05:00

That's right! Carry Me. For the rest of the season we're gonna do this all the time, no matter how good my ankle might heal. You guys need to carry me over to my apartment, we about to have a party. If you do, I guess you can stay. I mean, -- Hey! Bitch Hands off that ass!

Name: Chris Lofton
Height: 6' 2"
Position: Guard
Class: Senior
Nickname: Christ Loftong Bomb

Christ Lofton is the most dynamic player in the SEC. He returns to a stacked team that includes the two nuckleheads Ryan Childress and Jordan Howell. Each of those players averaged more than 15 minutes per game, and had a combined 9.5 pts on average per game. I think they are better out there to carry Lofton around than anything, but at least Childress can rebound.

When Chris Lofton showed up in 2004 you knew he was going to be a special player. He played on the 04-05 team that put up a 14-17 (6-10) record and was basically the laughingstock of the SEC east. Only Georgia was worse, but then Bruce Pearl showed up and the team that wasn't a factor suddenly became one. Tennessee fans became to fill up Thompson-Boling Arena for their men's team not just the women.

Chris Lofton has been a huge part of that turn around and his 20 and 30 point games should be more of a factor for his team picked to win the SEC overall. Like all basketball players, Chris Lofton doesn't care what the preseason says. He's ready. "It matters at the end of the season how you do."

The real stuff you can say about Chris Lofton? Dude is crazy. He likes to just walk a few feet past half court and launch it. You're gonna stick a hand in his face and contest his shot? Dude, Chris Lofton says forget that shit, I'm gonna make it. Billy Donovan called Chris Lofton the "Best Bad-shot-shooter." Meaning he can make something from nothing.

Chris Lofton had this to say about that, "Sometimes I realize, but sometimes I don't, I think I take contested shots a lot but sometimes the shot clock is running down and I have to. I do take bad shots every now and then, but who doesn't?"

Players who pass the ball don't Chris. My biggest knock on Chris Lofton is his 1.7 assists per game last season. When you are getting double teamed and covered and having to take contested shots there is always someone open. Pass the Ball baby.

You can't even fake this stuff

2007-10-29T15:07:00.000-05:00

Who cares if they ran up the score, it's still an anal raping either way.

Weekly "F--k You"s.

2007-10-26T13:11:00.000-05:00

We're starting a weekly (and maybe more often) "Fuck You" section. Each week, we'll choose a person, team, city, state, country, entity, establishment, object, or combination of the aforementioned to give a hearty "Fuck you." Enjoy.

This week's "Fuck You": The City of Boston.

City of Boston, and sports fans of teams from that shithole,

Fuck you.

I mean, seriously. You can help yourselves to a shovelfull of cock.

You raucously lament the state of Boston sports and how you're the most tortured fanbase of them all, balancing that delicately with an outcry of "Why can't everyone else be happy with our success? Well, let me tell you: Hardly anyone likes it when teams win that are not your own. As KSK so eloquently put it,

Any team that wins a title that is not your team is fucking annoying.

So get over it if we don't orgasm every time you guys win a title and start exuding strong odors of douche all over the place.

As for these teams torture you as a fanbase...shit, which team is that?

Certainly not your baseball team, who won the World Series a mere 3 years ago after having unprecedentedly come back from a 3-0 deficit in the ALCS. Oh yeah, and you've just come back from a 3-1 deficit AGAIN to enter the World Series, where you now stand with a 2-0 lead over America's streaking darlings, the Rockies. Those guys had a great story...why are you ruining it? Anyways, the source of your discontent and tortured souls couldn't possibly be from baseball.

What about basketball? Oh, yes, the Celtics have been rather poor lately...I almost feel bad for them. Almost. The 16 championship banners lofted above their hallowed court dry my sympathetic tears. For God's sake, it's about damned time other teams were winning them! But this doesn't stop you tea-drinkin' muthafuckas from bitching about your Celties, with their disgruntled demi-star, karmic-killing tanking, and not even getting Kevin Durant for their troubles. But, oh wait, this is Boston. You guys just buy a new team when you get bad, like your buddies (hah) the Yankees. Hey Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen: You guys want to play over here with Paul Pierce in a weak Eastern conference?
KG and Ray Allen: "Yes, please."
Fuck building a team, you'll just buy one to get an almost assured Finals appearance. No, I'm sure it's not basketball that causes such anguish.

It must be football then!

Right. With your Patriots that are pretty much becoming the best team of all time. Those Patriots that not only kick the shit out of every team they play, rape their mothers, and sodomize their pets, but are led by Tom Brady, of whom every ~~normal~~ other man alive is (justifiably) supremely jealous. Yeah, those Patriots.

Maybe it's your #2 BCS-ranked Boston College Eagles, whose Heisman Contender (HA!) Matt Ryan just pulled off a dramatic last-second comeback last night. No...saddened though you may be that the ranking system is so fucked up to have your overrated asses at #2, this can't possibly cause the kind of agony and distress that you so bewail.

I'm not even going to talk about Bill Simmons. Fuck him.

Bostonians are so annoying with their messed-up accents and using that damned Good Will Hunting line over and over again.

So to use the vernacular: Fack you, Bwaustin. You and your douchebag fans can go facking fellate yourselves. How do you like them apples?

SEC Basketball Player Profile - Alonzo Gee

2007-10-26T09:01:00.000-05:00

Name: Alonzo Gee
Height: 6'6"
Position: Forward
Class: Junior
Nickname: The Inconsistency

At times, Ronald Steele has been the best player on this Alabama Basketball team. He has averaged over 10 points per game over his career and in his Sophomore season put up 14 pts on average and dished 4 assists to his teammates.

Oh wait, I started on a Ronald Steele Profile, but then found out he's redshirting. Oh well here is the profile on the Alabama player who will be the other player that Bama fans know about when they aren't talking about Richard Hendrix...except for when they are talking about whatever Nick Saban is doing that day.

Alonzo Gee averaged 16 pts and 6 rebounds per game last season. He had three double-doubles last season including a 10 rebound effort against the impressively bearded Dwayne Curtis. Rebounding will be huge for this Alabama team that ranked 2nd in the SEC in rebounds last season. Last Season Alonzo had a 33.7% mark from beyond the arc as he sunk in 28 3 pointers. With Ronald Steele's 46 riding the bench all season.

Alonzo should be out at small forward for most of the season hoping to improve his outside shooting. Provided he and Richard Hendrix stay out of foul trouble, this Alabama team will be dominant on the boards and impressive in the Front court.

The worst thing you could say about Alonzo gee is the same thing you can say about any small forward, they are inconsistent statistically. It is hard for the Small Forward to get the ball, and it is spotty depending on the other team, how much they rebound and how much they score. If Alonzo wants to play Pro-ball, he'll need to become a shooting guard.

Mitch Mustain is a Whiny Little Bitch

2007-10-25T09:47:00.000-05:00

Yeah! I can say that. I hope the coaching staff doesn't find out.
I hope his mom doesn't find out! I wonder if Mitch's Lawyer can submit an FOIA request and find out who I am and get me kicked out of school.

Mitch Mustain has supposedly Moved on, but the young Quarterback has submitted an FOIA request regarding when the coaches learned of the Teresa Prewitt E-mail that contributed to his leaving the school.

I hate the fact that we are still talking about Mitch Mustain. In the wake of Houston Nutt's actions and the leaving of some of all of those Springdale kids, the razorback football program has dropped considerably. Ranked at Number 12 in the nation when Mitch Mustain was pulled after his interception in the South Carolina Game, the Razorbacks have since gone 4-5 in the SEC including the win over South Carolina. The Razorbacks are 5-0 in the SEC when Mitch Mustain started.

Now Mitch has moved on to Southern California where he gets no media attention. Except any time Southern Cal or Arkansas plays a game the name is brought up. It's an interesting story only in the fact that Mitch is one of those highly touted recruits that cares about his own hype. Mitch is the kind of player, in my opinion, that if he were in the running for the Heisman, would want to be in the game in the 4th quarter to pad his stats.

There are two kinds of players in this world, those that get by on talent and those that get by on heart. Mitch is a good quarterback, and he has a lot of talent, but when he got benched, he got mad. He was never even supposed to be the starter. It was Casey Dick, so it shouldn't've been a surprise when Nutt took the opportunity to put the original starter in. If Robert Johnson had kept his job after the Southern Cal game would Mitch have transferred?

It's not the coaching decisions that got Mitch all riled up, it was the e-mail from a stupid old lady that lives in Little Rock. Oh No! Someone doesn't like me? I better leave. When Joakim Noah played basketball in unfriendly environments, he got made fun of for jokes like "WNBA" and "You look like a girl", and "You're really ugly". He kept playing, and he got his team two NCAA championships and himself into the pro draft. Granted he wasn't being made fun of by his own fans, but if you want to take another Florida player, Chris Leak. The gator nation was screaming for his benching in favor of highly touted recruit Tim Tebow. But he went on to play his team to the national title.

Adversity makes us stronger, now maybe all of my calling Mitch Mustain names is just me being angry that he's not at Arkansas anymore. I remember how excited I was when I picked up the newspaper in my dorm and read about Mitch committing to Arkansas. I can remember the excitement when I read that Mitch was on campus taking summer classes and working out with the team. I can remember the Southern Cal game when it had gotten boring and I was standing in the stands and feeling the tingling in the stadium when we saw that the Mitch Mustain was in the huddle. Then that Magical touchdown drive against the USC second team defense. I loved watching Mitch fight through the adversity of three interceptions to tie the game with a brilliant throw to Ben Cleveland. I was there in Auburn when Mitch threw the TD to Marcus Monk that put the hogs ahead for good in that historic game. It was a magical season we had Mitch. Your time at Arkansas and your 7 games as a starter playing the whole game were awesome. But now! You're a Whiny Little Bitch, because you gave up on us. And obviously you can't let it go.

I hope you never get to start at USC, don't get drafted into the NFL, decide you want to be an actor, and live the rest of your life serving coffee in LA. I'm even thinking about going KSK's Big Daddy Drew on you and putting a bounty on your knees, but your knees aren't even worth $30 like Tom Brady's are.

SEC Basketball Player Profile - Charles Thomas

2007-10-25T08:35:00.000-05:00

Name: Charles Thomas

Height: 6'-8"

Position: Forward

Class: Senior

Nickname: Manimal

The man is a beast. At 6' 8" he is constantly against bigger guards in this league, but he doesn't rely on his spotty outside shooting, instead he takes it right at them in the paint. Charles Thomas is just a basketball player. He regularly lights up student section at Arkansas with his sacrificing his body. He regularly ends up standing on media tables and in the crowd after plays out of bounds, to the chagrin of a coach that doesn't want to see him injured and to the delight of the resident crazys in Bud Walton Arena.

At SEC media days Charles had this to say about new coach John Pelphrey.

" He's after us to give all-out effort, " said senior Charles Thomas, who has never had a problem surrendering his body for the team. " Everybody is on the floor after the basketball. It's intense. I've had my mouth bloodied, we all have strawberries on our legs and knees and one of our freshmen, Nate Rakestraw, broke his pinky. It was all twisted. "

Last Season Charles Thomas turned in over 10 points a game and 5.7 rpg. Thomas is the offensive center piece of one of the most experienced frontcourts in America and the SEC. He has Seniors Steven Hill, Darian Townes, and Vincent Hunter playing with him down on the block. Sophomore Micheal Washington will also be there after some impressive play during last year's SEC tournament.

The Manimal and the Razorbacks have been picked to win the weak SEC west and have been picked as a top 25 team in a few preseason polls. When it's all said and done Charles Thomas would love to be out in the crowd at Bud Walton Arena singing "Hard to be Humble" with the razorbacks and standing a little higher than 6'8" on a ladder cutting down nets in Atlanta

What We Know About the SEC: Week 9

2007-10-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

Nothing... Absoloutley nothing.

Rather we don't know anything about any specific teams.

Wait a minute. We do know that Mississippi State Sucks, but not as much as 0-5 Ole Miss does.

This is a tumultuous time for the SEC, the biggest worries of the past were that our top teams would get worse and we'd fall behind the other BCS schools. That the BCS would leave our one loss teams out of the national title hunt. We now know our biggest fears should've been the middle getting to good. Before coaches would have their press conferences to begin the week and you'd always here the same thing. "From top to bottom the SEC is the best conference in the nation and any team can beat you. It's always gonna be a war."

Now it's TRUE! Kentucky beats LSU, Auburn beats Florida, AGAIN!, Florida beats Kentucky, Tennessee beats Georgia, then Bama beats Tennessee! What does it all mean!?!?

Alabama
What we know: John Parker wilson will throw the ball, and DJ Hall will catch the ball.
What we don't know: The result of the Iron Bowl. It has seemed like the Tide were gonna take it after Auburn's rough start, but the War Eagles and the Elephants are playing well enough to make this an interesting game.
What we don't want to know: A 2nd loss for LSU provided by the Tide this week.

Arkansas
What we know: The hogs can win one SEC game.... one. Darren McFadden has lost his heisman candidacy.
What we don't know: If Houston will be fired immediately after the 2nd game or if they will wait until the bowls are over.
What we don't want to know: The bankrupt talent pool that will be left in the wake of McFadden, Jones, Monk, and Hillis.

Auburn
What we know: They're the best 5-3 team in the nation and the only top 25 team with 3 losses.
What we don't know: What Auburn team will show up on a given Saturday. Will they run with the best or lose to the rest?
What we don't want to know: If the Auburn Mascot is an Eagle or a Tiger.

Florida
What we know: TIMMY
What we don't know: What the Jorts wearing Gator Nation is gonna do without a national title. The fans in the Swamp probably won't understand how they don't win the title after the great ride they've been on.
What we don't want to know: More Arrests for this program.

Georgia
What we know: Georgia is actually a SEC East Title contender.
What we don't know: The names of any other bulldogs besides Matt Stafford.
What we don't want to know: Anything about the artist formerly known as the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail party.

Kentucky
What we know: This team can win. They can beat good teams and bad teams. But they will never draw as much hype as their 12 friends in Rupp Arena do.
What we don't know: What will happen next year when Andre Woodson is gone.
What we don't want to know: Letdowns against Miss. St. or the Communists in the next three weeks.

LSU
What we know: It is very difficult to get through the SEC unscathed.
What we don't know: If Matt Flynn can get them out of another pickle like his clutch TD did this past weekend against Auburn.
What we don't want to know: Another loss leaving the SEC out of the national title hunt (unless it's to Arkansas, but I'm not even gonna try to hope that)

Ole Miss
What we know: They can't hang with anyone.
What we don't know: Who Ole Miss hopes to beat with Mississippi St. playing it's best football under Croom and the Rebels playing their worst football in 24 years.
What we don't want to know: Nov. 17th LSU crushing Ole Piss to the tune of 80 points or so.

Mississippi St.
What we know: Mississippi spelled backwards is ippississim. The Bulldogs want to throw the ball, but they can't. They want to run the ball, but they can't. The Bulldogs have fallen apart since their win over the Tigers.
What we don't know: Who they will play at Quarterback. Croom has taken the reins from Micheal Henig, and shoved them into Wesley Carrol's hands. Will Wesley Carrol crack the top 11 QBs in the SEC?
What we don't want to know: The Egg Bowl....

South Carolina
What we know: South Carolina doesn't want to win the East.
What we don't know: How Spurrier let the Dores beat him in a defensive struggle? Ugh, there is something VERY wrong about all that.
What we don't want to know: Spurrier going off and telling his players that they simply can't play. That dude's an asshole.

Tennessee
What we know: Tennessee can't win on the road unless they are playing someone completely terrible (read Mississippi schools). 1-3 on the road is no way to go through life,
What we don't know: If Tennessee fans and administration will allow Fulmer to make it through another non-10-win-season.
What we don't want to know: Fat Phil fired. He is SO easy to make fun of.

Vanderbilt
What we know: They have a football team?
What we don't know: Why they kept playing after Jay Cutler got drafted
What we don't want to know: Nashville headline "Cock Arrested in suspected Slaying of Communists"

It's the End of the World as We Know It

2007-10-18T08:04:00.000-05:00

And "... if we don't do it, we'll come back next year and try again."

Hokay, so here's the Red Sox, daayum... That's some pretty sweet Red Sox, you might say, in the ALCS. Ruling out, Manny Ramirez getting injured or Manny Ramirez not hitting homeruns, the Red Sox season doesn't matter. "If it doesn't happen, who cares? There's always next year. It's not the end of the world." says the Manny.

REM, being from Athens, GA probably doesn't care if the Red Sox lose. When it became evident that the Braves were done I'm sure Micheal Stipe hummed a few bars somewhere near the All Star break if he is a Braves fan. The song might be overplayed if the Indians or the Rockies go on to win the World Series as the Indians haven't won one since 1948 and the Rockies have never won. Granted the BoSox just returned to the scene with a win in 2004 in which Manny Ramirez was named MVP, but it's not really a big deal to him either way.

But we don't talk about Baseball,

So what would you do if your favorite NFL, NBA, or Non-Senior College athlete said "hey no big deal, we'll get 'em next year"?

The BCS is Dead? It's not even December

2007-10-16T08:17:00.000-05:00

Bloggers across the landscape of the internet are all declaring the BCS to be a bunk system that sucks and it's gonna die this year etc. Okay, Everyone already knew that. All the presidents, coaches, athletic directors, players, fans, bloggers, and BCS conference commissioners are all very aware of that fact, but you can't say it's dead when the season is just barely halfway through.

Everyone claims that Ohio St. is gonna run the table with their ridiculously easy schedule... Is Ohio St. better than USC? No! USC lost to Stanford... Ohio St. can lose to anyone... We are well aware that this season is the season of upsets. This is the season where we realized that great teams won't lose to other teams that aren't quite as great, they will lose to the crap teams.

So before you claim the BCS is dead, just wait until the end of the season and see if you agree with who is in the national championship game... if you do, then be happy. Oh, and the NCAA champion is pretty much decided every year in Atlanta. The SEC champion is the National Champion just like the state champion in high school football in Texas is the National Champion.

SEC Officiating

2007-10-15T11:04:00.000-05:00

I was only able to watch 2 SEC games (Ark/Aub & Bama/Ole Miss), but I was appalled by the officiating in both. Bama was handed the game against Ole Miss. While the Rebels were pathetic for having to come back and try to win, they were right there at the end.

"After a 5-minute review clearly showed Hodge stepped out of bounds and returned
to the field to make the catch, the play was ruled illegal and Alabama (5-2, 3-1
Southeastern Conference) took over on downs for a final snap to seal the
victory."

I'm glad this article leaves out the fact that it also clearly shows he was forced out, and that he clearly was not the first player to catch the ball.

At the razorback game, I had the sad misfortune of watching the officials call an extremely poor game in my homering opinion. Time after time, the Auburn players were on the backs and legs of Razorback defensive players. I can give them the helmet to helmet on the fragile Cox of the Auburn Tigers, but then you have the awful hit out of bounds call when the arkansas player already had his arms around the player. While the officiating may not have cost the hogs the game completely, the fact that the hogs had 100 penalty yards probably showed up somewhere in the field position battle.

Rogers Redding is the SEC coordinator of officiating and even now he is probably preparing a statement of apology to Ole Miss Fans for the blown call. Nothing can really be done about the Arkansas game, but as he sits drinking his Diet Dr. Pepper (which doesn't taste like regular Dr. Pepper... it tastes like shit!), I hope he feels bad for what his men allowed in the ugliest game of this whole season.

Another 4th Quarter Let Down

2007-10-15T09:13:00.000-05:00

Actually the whole game was kind of a let down, but for the first time this season the razorback defense looked good. Thanks to some dropped passes in the 1st quarter, Tuberville was glad to let his tailbacks work the ground game with his 3-0 lead. While on the other side of the ball the name of the game was 3 and out. The razorback offensive line could not move the Tigers away from the line of scrimmage and let 2 sometimes 3 defenders into the back field to wrap up McFadden for loss or no gain. The play calling seems somewhat at fault as the razorbacks continuously went for the same zone pulls and rarely varied the running game.

It was good solid defensive football for 3 quarters, but when push came to shove, Casey Dick put together a scoring drive with Lucas Miller falling into the endzone to put the hogs up 7-6 on an Alex Tejada Field Goal. Then special teams came back to bite the hogs in the ass when Brian Vavra gave the Tigers excellent field position to start their drive down to the 3 yard line and a Field Goal.

The hogs are lacking in identity and need to post a win this week over Ole Miss to hope for a bowl game and Houston Nutt better hope for the same or all of those job leads he's been searching out might come in handy when Jeff Long shows him the door.

Darren McFadden: The Heisman Candidacy might be over. Even the best offensive player in college football couldn't help his team against the stingy Auburn Defense. Breaking to school record in a game where you only have 43 yards is awful. Was that the Elephant in the stadium that kept you so shutdown? Were you afraid of Ben Cowins? Darren. You're gonna get drafted by an NFL team that is going to have an offensive line on par with what the razorbacks did this weekend. If you're going to start veering away from collisions, you might wanna wait until you're in the NFL and you have your money!

Wow, Navy Beat You!

2007-10-10T22:56:00.000-05:00

Dave Wanstedt shoulda kicked the field goal... Actually he shoulda run it on 3rd and 4th downs, but how can you go in and tell your players that you're gonna win a game with a non-play action pass from the 2 yard line where you just throw it up for grabs?

In other news form this game, Lou Holtz is really old. "It's like having to choose between Joan Collins and Linda Evans"...

Lee Ziemba, You went to the wrong school!

2007-10-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

Auburn Tigers Lee Ziemba and Kodi Burns make their first trip to Fayetteville since they left to attend out of state, SEC rival Auburn. Arkansas fans and players are ready to welcome the two Arkansans back to the state with open arms.

Ernest Mitchell had his arms outstrectched last year for Brandon Cox and if Tuberville pulls the trigger on young Kodi Burns, the Hogs will be looking to sack him, too. Last year the hogs had a coming out party against Auburn celebrating a 27-10 victory on the field of Jordan-Hare stadium. The razorback offense was consistent and able to run right at the tigers, and they just kept getting first downs.

Freshman Mitch Mustain only had to throw 10 passes last year. The telling tale of that game was the defense, and for an Arkansas defense that has yet to show up this year, this will be the game where they want to turn it around. Another 5 sack performance and holding a streaking Auburn team to 10 points will do wonders for a defense that has failed to hold anybody back.

Personally, I'm not upset about Kodi Burns going to another school. He is a Quarterback and having Mitch Mustain here at the time, it would seem like he wouldn't get to play for awhile, and we don't necessarily groom Quarterbacks to play anything but Wide Reciever at the next level, but Lee Ziemba? We churn out some of the best Offensive Linemen in the SEC. The only difference is at Arkansas you wouldn't've started right away like you managed to do at ALL Freshman Linemen Auburn. Oh well, don't be surprised if the hogs treat you with something of a traitor mentality.

NFL has some BullSpit Rules

2007-10-09T23:47:00.001-05:00

I've broken down some of the crap in this video from MNF Buffalo vs. Dallas

NFL rules SUCK!

First off it's 20 seconds of game play that takes 15 minutes to transpire due to 2 reviews and a timeout. There isn't even TV involved in this bitch!

Romo has an incomplete pass to TO! The ruling on the field is completion, the 'boys rush up and spike the ball to give themselves a shot at a field goal with 1 second left... Why that bastard of a clock doesn't stop for them to move the chains, I'll never know. They spike it. Then the clock on that video ticks 7 SECONDS! and then they start blowing the PREVIOUS PLAY dead! WTF. If you are gonna call it dead, you have to do it when you should fuckin' DO IT! If you need to take the time for a review call the play dead RIGHT THEN.

So 13 seconds back on the clock, and Romo pushes them down to range for a 53 yarder (a career long for the rookie kicker replacing Canadian Vanderjagt from last year). The Kick is up and... well it looks good, but the refs look kinda lost... Oh his hands just went up and he's waving the play dead? Oh that's right. Milliseconds before the snap coaches are allowed to call timeouts now. Icing the kicker is one thing, but being able to force 22 players to replay an entire play because you wanna be a dip shit of a douche and wait until the last second. That's fuckin' unbelievable. What the hell is he saying to the ref right before that play anyway.

"Hey listen to me you striped fuckhead...I'm Dick Jauron, and I say you and your striped cohorts do what I say... I'm not even gonna be close to before the snap on calling this timeout, but you are going to say I am! You! are going to wave the play dead right after it goes through those uprights, so that rookie Fuck"*His name is Folk sir*"I wasn't even trying to say his Folkin' name! Just make him do it twice or I'll continue to coach the Bills through another non season play off. We're gonna take 4 AFC championships in a row back in the '90s and call it good!"

Joe Torre and the Yankees

2007-10-09T13:16:00.000-05:00

Owners are Hilarious (http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2007/10/f-k-it-were-takin-tuesday-off.html)

They spend tons of money and pitch huge fits and just want their teams to win!

Crazy Owners - the three I'm featuring here don't own the team for money, they own the teams because their own athletic ability never gave them the championships they desire.

Today we're gonna talk about the King Asshole. The King Douche. The King of New York and the man who owns baseball and everything in it.

Since January 3rd, 1973 George has basically been in charge of the Yankees. During that time he has won 10 pennants and 6 World Series.... Not the Team, George has won them... With Money! He has never been personal in any relationships. If you don't cut it, you get cut. Billy Martin was fired 5 times by the fickle owner.

Eventually, it seemed that George was going to let the Yankees farm system and the team prosper and through the '90s only made one change in firing Buck Showalter for Joe Torre, a manager no one had faith in, but now after 4 World Series Victories is one of the highest paid and most respected managers in the leauge. George recently stated that Joe Torre is fired if the Yankees don't win the ALDS against the Indians which they didn't.

From 1996-2000 the Yankees won 4 World Series and seemed to be on the edge of starting a dynasty, but the past 7 years have left the Yankees fans and Owner Steinbrenner frustrated. For George it's World Series or nothing despite having 18 years of no championships in his tenure.

For Joe Torre, he should be allowed to stay as long as he wants as Manager. The Yankees had a historic season getting to the playoffs at all. There are no mistakes made in managing this team in the past 3 losses and 1 win. The biggest thing you could say is the Yankees lost to a team with superior pitching and that were swing the bats better.

But we don't talk about Baseball

Hot Seat

2007-10-09T12:49:00.000-05:00

The nerves in Houston Nutt's butt must be shot. He has been on and off the hot seat several times over the past 10 years. Started off solid then moved onto the hot seat. With a win over LSU in '02 he moved off and into the SEC Championship game where he lost and a loss in the bowl game put him back on the hot seat.

Rescheduling Texas in '03 and '04 the hogs stormed to a 4-0 record and a #7 ranking with road victories at Texas and Alabama. The season went out quietly from there, with 3 more SEC losses for a 4-4 SEC record and a 9-4 record overall and a victory over Missouri in the Independance Bowl.

Somehow riding the hot seat through a 5-6 and a 4-7 season, Houston rode Darren McFadden, Gus Malzahn, and several defensive players now playing for the NFL to a 10-4 record and bought rings for an SEC West championship. The off season put Houston right near the hot seat with E-mail Gate, Freedom on Information Act Requests, and the leaving of heralded recruit, and we go on and on just like it says in the newspapers every two weeks.

After allowing come from behind wins by Bama and Kentucky, coupled with a poor performance against UT Chatt, Houston finds himself the number 1 coach on the hot seat according to http://www.coacheshotseat.com/ .

While many razorback fans are still gearing up for games against Auburn, South Carolina, Tennessee, and LSU, some have already thrown in the towel and are wondering what coach is gonna pick up the pieces that will be left when Houston is fired at the end of the season and Darren McFadden and Felix Jones go to play for NFL teams.

There are still other razorback fans that are far from wondering, they are doing their best to make their opinion heard and are committing zookification on Houston Nutt.

10 years ago when the coaching position at Arkansas was opened up, Houston Nutt went against Tommy Tuberville for the job at Arkansas. Tuberville had just gone 8-4(4-4) with SEC team Ole Miss playing in the SEC, and Houston had just gone 4-7 with Boise St. Houston won the job due to his personality and peppy attitude.

Following the game on Saturday Houston was asked about the banner and his response was "where was the banner when we were 7-0 in the SEC last year?"

I think that's all I got. How screwed up is this situation anyway? I defy any fan to say that their school has a more fucked up athletic program than the University of Arkansas.

Auburn at Arkansas

2007-10-09T11:42:00.001-05:00

Two underachievers line up this saturday in the 'ville. While Auburn has bounced back from a 2-2 (0-1) start, the hogs are trying to get their first win in the SEC. The hogs have gone 0-4 in their last 4 SEC games.

While Auburn gave Florida the finger, taking a W from the swamp, and torching Vandy 35-7, the Hogs have been feasting on the sunbelt and UT-Chatt to try and regain their strength. The hogs let pony boy Andre Woodson escape from F-town with a win and hope that their defense can finally stand up and stop the Cox, but more importantly the Auburn running game. Auburn returned Brad Lester to the lineup last week after he sat out the first 5 games for undisclosed Academic reasons (Football players go to class?).

Projected to be the Tigers/Eagles #1 running back at the beginning of the season he now returns to the tune of 13 carries for 77 yards and 2 TDs in his debut. He somewhat relieved the much maligned passing game headed up by Brandon Cox who went 14/17 with a TD and an INT. Brad Lester was one of the bright spots in last years 27-10 loss to the hogs in which he had some great kickoff returns one for 68 yards.

The hogs defensive backs are just hoping not to have a repeat of the last time Cox came into Fayetteville, when he threw for over 200 yards and 3 TDs.

This game will come down to defense, and the hogs just don't have it. While both teams are very different than the 35-27 victory I predicted for the tigers early in the season, I think the score will still be the same. While the hogs seemed to play a really solid game against North Texas's High School team, they suffered a let down in the Rock and didn't play up to their potential.

With DMac in the backfield, the hogs can beat anyone, but the offensive play calling must improve and the defense must get a few stops. Against Kentucky, the hogs continually gave up on defense and bailed the Kentucky offense out with offsides penalties and more.

Auburn 35-27 over the hogs.

Memphis Grizzlies Practice in Spain

2007-10-05T12:00:00.000-05:00

BigFootFool's Preview:

The NBA season is still weeks away, but all over the United States and the World NBA teams have begun preseason practice, exhibitions, and scrimmages all to prepare for the regular season that doesn't matter.

Following a Wednesday Scrimmage in which Pau Gasol's team lost to Darko Milicic's (largely due to 13th year veteran Damon Stoudamire) 34-40, the Grizzlies headed over to Pau Gasol's Homeland, Spain. In Spain they will be gearing up for a Tuesday matchup with Unicaja Malaga. Unicaja Malaga of course being spanish for "Has sex with a goat".

The Griz barely scraped 22 wins last season and hope to have a repeat of their '05 and '06 playoff runs of 0-4 and 0-4 respectively. The differences in this Grizzlies line up are not surprising, but the front offices look startlingly different. No more Jerry West. New GM and most of that office has been overhauled. Marc Iavaroni has taken over the reigns left by Tony Barone, Mike Fratello, and Hubie Brown.

Many Grizzlies Fans are hoping to see Phoenix Suns type numbers from the pupil of Mike D'antoni, but should just hope to see a winning season again in Memphis. Seeing a winning season shouldn't be that surprising because the thinnest PF in the league, Pau "I have a beard" Gasol, is starting the season uninjured, as is starting PG Damon Stoudamire (not to be confused with arthroscopic knee surgery Amare Stoudemire that JTExperience has a huge boner for).

Soon to be the best rookie in the NBA (Mike Conley II), has been challenging Stoudamire for the starting spot, but will probably be relegated to clean up and relief when Damon starts remembering how old he is.

Other tools the Grizzlies will be using this season.

Mike "the lesbian PE teacher" Miller

Darko "I'm a crazy Serbian" Milicic

Rudy "Gay Husky" Gay (a little redundant)

Hakim Warrick (I'm not making fun of Hakim ... he'll fuckin' kill me)

This is the Grizzlies team for the next year and I look for them to make nearly as big a turnaround as the Warriors did last year. I still think when they moved from Vancouver we shoulda called them the Fighting Elvises!

JTExperience's Preview:

Fool, I think you hit it right on the head, pretty much, so I'll be brief.

Hells yeah I got a boner for STAT! Who don't? I want him to have my children.

Darko's been freed. Darko and Pau together will kick some ass once they get used to playing together.

I think Junior Conley will play a bigger role than you think. Kyle Lowry Esquire will challenge him for playing time, and we'll see a lot more of these guys with less of Creaky Knees StoudAmire as the season progresses.

In Ivaroni's style of play, look for the Stro-Show to have a breakout 8th year in the league. I just feel it; it's his time.

The Grizz are young and stacked. Pau, Darko, Gay, Stro, and Warrick look like a pretty damned good frontline. Junior, Lowry Esq., Michelle Miller, Juan Carlos Navarro, sharpshooter Casey Jacobsen will be REAL good after a little seasoning, with Ole' Creaky lookin' after 'em. That's runnin' 11 deep right there, not counting three other cats, of which Tarence Kinsey showed a lot of promise late last year.

Yes, Hakim Warrick will fuckin' kill you. He might even add the g on the end.

I bet they can win at least one playoff game this year. They'll fasho be one of the most fun teams to watch, next to Phoenix and Golden State. It's just too bad that they're the gayest team in the league, with two of their top 3 players being a lesbian P.E. teacher and a dude whose name actually is 'Gay.' ::sigh::

The Heisman Candidacy might be over

2007-10-05T08:23:00.000-05:00

(AP Photo/Mary Ann Chastain)

Andre did everything he could to help his team, but just ended up hurting them. For this Kentucky team to win, Andre Woodson needs to play nearly perfectly. Not to the point where he throws for 300 yards and has no incompletions, but no turnovers. Woodson needs to make good decisions and this week he proved that he won't always.

Once again (like the Arkansas game), Woodson fumbles in the first series and it's 6(7) points the other way.

Woodson holds the NCAA record for most passes without an interception, but in the past 2 games he has thrown up 2 picks. Driving to the 9 yard line, Woodson threw up his 2nd pick in as many games and let the South Carolina Defense get off the field.

In the 3rd Quarter, facing a sack, Woodson turned and tried to fire a pass to John Conner(Come with me if you want to live!), but his attempt was bobbled and behind the fullback ending with another TD return by Eric Norwood.

"We definitely made a lot of mistake, especially me personally," Woodson said. "It's something we haven't been doing all year."

This quote brings me to the point I've wanted to make since I saw the first interception of the season go to Tavious Polo of Florida Atlantic last week. Where were the bad decisions against Arkansas? Why did it have to be efficient, smart Woodson beating the hogs as I watched another hog lead slip away? Woodson! If you're going to blow it, do it against a team I want to win and especially don't do it against a team I want you to beat! Loser!

And Somewhere, Baseball is Happening.

2007-10-04T20:02:00.000-05:00

So the Great American Pastime is having their "Playoffs," something I've been told happens just about every year around this time.

Hockey is starting up too, I've heard.

Good job guys; glad you're stickin' with it even though nobody else gives a fuck.

BIGFOOTFOOL

Yeah, I would have to say that Baseball is definately a friggin' newspaper sport. I rarely watch it, and if I do I don't watch the whole game. I just read the score in the newspaper and go my merry way. I've gotten to the point where web gems and baseball tonight are just like another commercial to me. I leave them on, but it's like nothing's on.

I thought Hockey had moved to Europe?

Weekly Picks (SEC edition): Week 6

2007-10-04T09:17:00.000-05:00

The SEC is in a complete uproar from last week's Auburn victory over Florida. Which I did not pick. Everything else went as expected, except Alabama fell on the road to the seminoles. Many people think that the 2 game losing streak is due to Nick Saban's shutting down of SEC Poon. I am of the opinion that it's due to John Parker Wilson's terrible decision making and Major Applewhite's young inexperienced play calling. Other than those two games last week I was perfect, but never came close to even sniffing the correct scores. But on to the picks.

Chattanooga @ Arkansas
The least interesting game of the week as the Razorbacks hope to build "confidence". Razorback fans and the team are looking for a quick win with 100 yard games for Jones and McFadden with a good solid passing display, "but don't take too long with the game. We need to get back out on the golf course to our drinkin'"
Hogs Win 60-7

Louisiana Tech @ Ole Miss
One of the Worst WAC teams (isn't that a little redundant?), vs. the worst SEC team. Once again Ole Miss goes out of the conference to face a game that they could actually lose. Props to Coach O for making a schedule that is at least tough for his team, but I think this team could even lose to Notre Dame right now. Louisiana Tech is enjoying a 3 game losing streak that may not get better until they face Utah St. at the end of the month. Meanwhile, Ole Miss is on a 4 game losing streak after beating Memphis in the opener. Seth Adams is leading a mildly potent passing attack that looks to beat up on the LA Tech 109th ranked Secondary. The whole defense is suspect from Lousiana Tech and they haven't played anybody (unless you call Hawaii and the Rainbow Warriors a body).
Ole Miss wins 28-24

UAB @ Mississippi St.
UAB has played a tough schedule so far with teams like Michigan St., Florida St., and Tulsa on their schedule. The Blazers are consistently at the bottom of the C-USA, and look for them to stay there this year. As long as the Bulldogs stay focused and don't let this become a game in the 4th quarter, Sylvester Croom will put up more wins than he's had in a single season since becoming coach of the bulldogs in 2004. The Bulldogs need to rely on their running game behind Sophomore Anthony Dixon and never let the game be put in the hands of Micheal Henig. The Defense should do it's job for the bulldogs.
Mississippi St. wins 42-21

Houston @ Alabama
You want to give Houston a chance in this game simply out of hate of Nick Saban and enjoying the 2 game losing skid, but you can't. The tide will win this one as the Cougars offense will look like scared kittens dealing with Nick Saban's defense. The Houston offense simply doesn't move the ball. Expect the Tide to score big early and run the ball for most of the 2nd half.
Alabama over Houston 45-14

Vanderbilt @ Auburn
Probably the 2nd toughest game to pick in the SEC this week. The tigers beat somebody highly ranked last week and Vandy hasn't lost to a team like Miss. St. Questions abound for both teams coming into this game and it's really a question of which Auburn team shows up. If Tommy Tubberville can get his guys calmed down after last weeks monster win, then the Tigers will send the communists back to Russia. Vandy is a team that will play and can beat the Tigers, but this Saturday won't be there day. After this loss Vandy will slip into the bottom of the SEC East, but at least they know they are better than Ole Miss.
Auburn wins 35-24

Georgia @ Tennessee
The other bulldogs have seemingly recovered following the speed bump from South Carolina. This Tennessee team has not performed well at all this season. Normally reserving their bye week for the Alabama game this season the Vols took a week off before the Georgia game. Unsurprisingly the news reports brought up some of the Vols usual handiwork. Given the time to heal I think the vols will make a game of this.
Vols win 35-34

Kentucky @ South Carolina
Kentucky has been rolling under Rich Brooks, and a win this weekend could put them on a path rolling right to the SEC championship game. Andre Woodson will face the best defense he has seen before this weekend (the Gamecocks are ranked Number 1 against the pass). The Wildcats will have to rely on their consistent running game and a South Carolina offense that hasn't produced to Steve Spurrier's usual standards. South Carolina's game last weekend was much closer than the final score revealed, and the Wildcats have been winning their close games, also. This game will go down to the 4th Quarter and Andre Woodson has managed well for the Wildcats all season long in tough pressure situations. Even if the cats are down, they may not be out.
Wildcats win 42-38

Florida @ LSU
The game of the week will not be as exciting as expected. While the LSU offense will struggle against the Gators, the Defense will make the difference. Last year the Tigers lost by 13 despite out playing the Gators in most statistical categories. The difference was field position and the Tiger offense started off pathetically last year. this year the Tiger's offense has been good enough that they will score more than the Gators do.
LSU wins 24-10 In a score almost eerily similar to last year.

There you have it and you can take that to the bank, but I wouldn't take those scores to the bookies.

Not excited so how about a World Record

2007-10-03T15:56:00.000-05:00

We here at BvB can't get excited about the Mocs and taking on UT Chattanooga. If we pull a Michigan I will rip my testicles off and post them on the blog.

So, I thought I'd draw attention to Haile Gebrselassie (pronounced Grabs a little ass e).

Haile Grabselassie just put himself on a plane of sports that exceeds millions of competitors for over a century. In the Berlin Marathon this past week, Haile went 26.2 miles faster than anyone has ever done it in competition. His 2:04;26 was 29 seconds faster than Paul Tergat's mark in 2003 at the same marathon course.

I think this record is complete bullshit. One of the rules races of the distance kinda typically follow is no pacers. No one to run with you and keep you on a pace. Part of the beauty of running long is the fact that you have to find it within yourself to hold back when you need to and push when you need to. While he If you want to know your pace it is completely legal to run with a device to tell you that, but another person along isn't the same thing, and to me I don't think it's right for a world class athlete of Haile's caliber to sink to that level. It would be like a high school cross country coach getting to run with his athletes.

I don't know if this is common practice for marathon and half-marathon records, but running to me is an individual sport. Haile can run fast and long, but I still hate the pacing. BigFootFool is going to be running his first marathon Oct. 20th. I damn sure won't be near 2:06, but I'm gonna do it alone.

University of North Texas High School

2007-09-28T11:40:00.001-05:00

*The Bell Rings*

Teacher: Ok class get into your seats

*The beep of the intercom soundss*

PA Announcer: Good Morning Students today is Friday, September the 28th and these are your University of North Texas High School Mean Green in the Morning Announcements.

Lunch today will be Tacos with Mexican Rice and Fried Potato Cakes.

Be sure to Tune in to the Radio as your Mean Green Football Team *hehe that's a funny rhyme* takes on the Arkansas Razorbacks over in Fayetteville, AR. If you are going on the bus trip make sure you meet at the football field at 5:00 pm.

Now, We have a special announcement by Coach Tom Dodge!

Todd Dodge: Um, that's Todd!

PA Announcer in background: Whatever ... I should just call you 0-3... 'bout to be 0-4

Dodge: Anyway Students. I just wanted to tell you about this great football team we got going out to take on the Razorbacks this weekend. I know we can't win, but I think we can pass for at least 300 yards, and that's exciting right? Go Green! Make sure you're all at the pep rally in the gym this afternoon. We're gonna go get 'em!

Weekly Picks (SEC edition): Week 5

2007-09-27T10:45:00.000-05:00

Last week I was 10-5 on rivals pick 'em. Bringing me to 40-20, but I have actually moved up the rankings a little bit. I'll share my picks with you next week and tell you why I picked what I picked and what cruel twist of fate caused me to be wrong like the past 60 games have done to me. Here are the easy picks for this week. Very uninteresting SEC matches for the most part.

Alabama @ Florida St.
2 programs that have (at times) been at the pinnacle of college footall. Now where are they? Alabama fans think Saban is on the rise and FSU fans are biding there time. They know they can't make Bowden leave, but they will be mediocre until they find a new coach. What FSU fans don't know is that Bowden is really a corpse. With the Talent in Florida, FSU should be tearing up the ACC, but the Seminoles are actually sitting at 4th best of the 4 Florida schools.
Alabama over Florida St. 34 - 17

North Texas @ Arkansas
After two SEC losses and a stupid Offseason Hog Fans are ready to call the moving truck and have them knocking on Houston Nutt's Door. Fans on a message board have ordered a plane to fly over the Campus up until about 1 1/2 hours before the game on Saturday saying that "Fans and Players Deserve Better - Fire Nutt". Many people are labeling this as similar to the Zook incident, but the effort will be a little strange due to the fact that no Razorback fans will be there to see it for a non-conference clash against Tom Dodge's High School, Rent-a-W, Nice Green. Arkansas can't defend against the pass and gives up 300 yards through the air.
Arkansas over North Texas 52 - 27

Auburn @ Florida
TIMMY!!! Florida's offense is spectacular. After a poor showing by the team on the road at Ole "needs a mascot" Miss, the Gators are going to come back and prove to their fans in the Swamp that they can play football. Who better to do that with than this years 2nd biggest SEC dissappointment, the Auburn Tigers. Brandon Cox has lost it.
Florida over Auburn 42-17

Ole Miss @ Georgia
Matt Stafford and the Bulldogs have struggled somewhat after a loss to South Carolina, but they got some swagger back with a close win over Saban in Tuscaloosa. Ole Miss is reeling after a physical close game with the Gators. Coach O wants to prove his team is finally SEC worthy this season, but with this game @ Georgia it's not looking likely.
UGA over Ole Miss 35 - 21

Florida Atlantic @ Kentucky
Florida Atlantic is sitting atop the Sun Belt right now and looking a likely candidate to challenge Troy for dominance in the SEC's whipping boy conference. Rich Brooks squad has coached two tough come from behind victories for his team and Andre Woodson is getting his name mentioned for the Heisman despite his worst performance of the season at Arkansas last week. His fumble and allowing a Safety gave the hogs 8 points last week and nearly cost them the game. Kentucky has been known as a passing team, but the secret to this game will be the THREE-HEADED WILD CAT. Consisting of Rafael Little, Tony Dixon, and Derrick Locke. The three speedy backs torched Arkansas last week and will be going up against a much worse defense against the run.
Kentucky over Florida Atlantic 55-20

LSU @ Tulane
Tulane is Bad! LSU is good. LSU's offensive starters leave during the 2nd Quarter. Tulane's Offensive starters are either A) All eaten alive by Glen Dorsey before the 2nd half, B) All too injured by the middle of the 3rd Quarter, or C) All too afraid by the 4th Quarter after watching Glen Dorsey consume a live cow on the field.
LSU over Tulane 45-0

Mississippi St. @ South Carolina
Probably the most interesting SEC game in the fact that both teams have been playing better than expected this season. Only losses for these two teams have come against the greatest terror of the known world LSU. Steve Spurrier has decided to shuffle Quarterbacks, but what is the real secret behind all of this? Steve Spurrier has revealed himself by accident in the Georgia game to have been hiding behind his fun and gun explosive offenses at Florida. He is actually a great defensive coach and his team will grind it out behind Boyd and let the Bulldogs throw interceptions to them all game long. Sylvester Croom is making a last ditch effort to stay the coach of the bulldogs. If he wants to win this game he'll have to come up with a great rushing scheme for Anthony Dixon. The best player to play at Mississippi St. in a long time
USC over MSU 35 - 14

Tennessee has made it easier on all of our eyes by choosing not to play this weekend. They are gearing up for a "big" game against Georgia. It's pretty sad when Georgia vs. Tennessee next week won't count for anything in the SEC East race.

Eastern Michigan @ Vanderbilt
Vandy has come to the point where a MAC team shouldn't frighten them. Congrats Communists (red herrings). You are now an SEC football school. Eastern Michigan is bad even by MAC standards so hopefully even the socialists can't screw this one up. Vanderbilt students won't even show up for this game. They'll probably go study or something(drink beer). That's what you do in college right?
Vandy over Directional Michigan 42 - 14

I really went out on some limbs there I know. If I am wrong on some of these it just proves the one thing this season has been trying to prove.... Parity has come to college football!*DRAMATIC MUSIC*

Sad Stats

2007-09-26T09:52:00.000-05:00

He's the King. Even Bama Fans agree, but there is a reason why you haven't see this pose from D-Mac very much this year. Arkansas ranks 3rd in overall Rushing Offense(yards). They have only put 6 of those 154 attempts into the end zone. Darren McFadden is Number 1 in most Heisman polls and #1 in the NCAA in rushing yards. Rushing TDs? He's got 31 guys ahead of him. He has guys like Omar Haugabook from Troy in front of him. Ray Rice has 8 TDs and Darren McFadden has 4. The team is struggling to put the ball into the end zone, and that is why they rank 57th in rushing TDs(behind Hawaii) and that is why they are 0-2 in SEC play.

Arkansas vs. Kentucky was a game of Arkansas apparently manhandling Kentucky in the 1st half 20-7 until a Micheal Smith fumble made it 20-14. The truth behind that is two field goals, a Defensive TD on Kentucky's first offensive play, and a 56 yard zig zag TD by Darren McFadden. The other TD of the game was a Special Teams takeback by Felix Jones.

Arkansas has a team coming to town that is in the same boat as them. North Texas ranks 5th in passing Offense with 378 yards/game, but they have only put the ball in the end zone 5 times! A large part of that is the 9 interceptions they've thrown. They rank 65th in passing TDs.

David Lee and the Arkansas offense needs one focus for this week. End zone

What We Know About the SEC: Post Week 4

2007-09-25T09:13:00.000-05:00

Alabama
What we know: Saban came to play. The tide are trying to start rolling again
What we don't know: What will happen when they play the cream of the SEC against LSU
What we don't want to know: What Alabama Fans will do when the Tide wins the Iron Bowl this year.

Arkansas
What we know: The hogs can't play defense. Sure they have a safety, but so does Akron.
What we don't know: At what point will Darren McFadden just quit and declare for the draft.
What we don't want to know: Where Houston Nutt will coach after new AD Jeff Long fires him.

Auburn
What we know: Brandon Cox has completely lost it.
What we don't know: Auburn fans never seem to get really down on their team after a loss. If they fade to the bottom of the SEC West will any of them notice? Kodi Burns?
What we don't want to know: If the Auburn Mascot is an Eagle or a Tiger.

Florida
What we know: TIMMY
What we don't know: If the Florida Gators can win against a real defense.
What we don't want to know: Another Florida National Championship, making it 4 in a row in the college sports that matter.

Georgia
What we know: Georgia fans love to make a big deal over a 26-23 "trampling" of a Recovering Alabama Team.
What we don't know: If Matt Stafford can keep making a deficient team around him "better"
What we don't want to know: Another Georgia let down at home.

Kentucky
What we know: This team can play offense, and apparently defense holding Darren McFadden to 9 yards on 3 carries to force a punt for the Go Ahead Score.
What we don't know: If the come from behind antics of this team will hold them through a tough SEC East Schedule
What we don't want to know: How many more passing attempts Andre Woodson will have before he throws an interception. The passing yards may not be Heisman worthy, but that no interception number might just be.

LSU
What we know: Glen Dorsey
What we don't know: If the albeit steady, but mediocre offense will be able to put up enough points if the Defense has a bad day.
What we don't want to know: Another Flip Field Goal Rush for a TD by a kicker. What is this backyard Football?

Ole Miss
What we know: They can lose by two scores to Vandy and Missouri, but they can hang with the Gators.
What we don't know: How Coach O can limit the carries of a spectacular back like BJG-E to 11 carries.
What we don't want to know: The Egg Bowl....

Mississippi St.
What we know: Same thing we knew last year. Mississippi St. is the bottom of the barrel in SEC offense.
What we don't know: Anything more about the Bulldogs since their miraculous win against Auburn. Is Anthony Dixon any good, or is he the closest thing to a bright spot in Starkville... the toughest place to recruit in the world.
What we don't want to know: The Egg Bowl....

South Carolina
What we know: Spurrier has a team that can play defense.
What we don't know: How Spurrier has failed to bring huge offensive prowess which was once his forte.
What we don't want to know: A news report about Gamecock fans kidnapping Lee Corso about his comments.

Tennessee
What we know: Fulmer has been accused of being a bad coach despite his Championship run in '98 which is the only national championship since the days of the General.
What we don't know: How the fans can be so upset at losing to two fantastic teams in Cal and Florida
What we don't want to know: Fat Phil fired. He is SO easy to make fun of.

Vanderbilt
What we know: They have a football team?
What we don't know: Why they kept playing after Jay Cutler got drafted
What we don't want to know: More about the Commies(Where is Joseph McCarthy when you need him - or was Communism just a red Herring?) outstanding Academics

Oldness

2007-09-24T12:05:00.000-05:00

Brett Favre is old. Here he is standing toe to toe with Dan "the Man" Marino.

Right now Favre is standing toe to toe with Marino in the record books also. If you look at the records for Quarterbacks in the National Football League, you see three names over and over again. Favre, Marino, and Elway. These guys are all over the record books. Top 3 in Career Passing Yards, Career Completions, Career Attempts, Career wins as a Starting QB, and Elway slips to 4th on Career TDs.

Favre is nearly at the top of them all and is at the top of most. He needs 3001 passing yards, 11 attemps, and 1 TD pass to be at the top in all of those statistical categories, as he already leads in Completions and wins and is tied for TDs.

Let's have a little informal poll in the comments about old people. Who has the worst commercial, Favre's Jeans commercial or Roger Clemens Cingular Commercial?

It's just not fair

2007-09-24T08:20:00.000-05:00

Darren McFadden had a rough day. 27 yards short of 200, Darren McFadden played very well. Stuffering from Stomach Flu and a Defense that couldn't back him up, Darren looks utterly tired here in the 1st half. He only carried 12 times in the 2nd half, but it should've been none. The razorback offense is doing it's job which is in stark contrast to the Razorback teams in the past several years.

Reggie Herring's press coverage scheme worked well for the Razorbacks defensive secondary last year. While not stellar, it was not as embarassing as it is this year. Losing Chris Houston to the 1st round of the draft is tough though. The new scheme is the "watch the receiver catch the ball" scheme. Kentucky QB Andre Woodson loved the hogs secondary as they helped keep his record breaking streak of passing attempts without interceptions alive. The hogs refused to play the ball and gave up several chances at picks and even had a few slip through their hands.

We all know Houston Nutt must be insane right now. After dealing with the crazy post season ride, he seemed so ready to just get back to Football. Houston came into the season with an experienced offense with QB Casey Dick (while not a prolific passer, does a good job managing the game), WR Marcus Monk, FB Peyton Hillis, a solid O-line, and two of the best running backs to ever play at the school or anywhere. The defense was a question, but getting Micheal Grant and Freddie Fairchild back from injury, the defense looked like it would pull together and get enough stops to help the offense win games.

While getting Micheal Grant back from injury with something to prove ended up getting Star Wideout Marcus Monk injured, but these things happen. It should've been apparent then that this season was one that could go disasterously wrong.

The truth of the matter has been that the hogs are on a crazy roller coaster and at the end of every game they just keep going down.

Kentucky vs. Arkansas

2007-09-21T10:05:00.000-05:00

I normally make my predictions sooner, but I have to say I don't know on this one. I was kinda hoping that Andre Woodson would get injured in practice this week and then I would assume the hogs would roll. I really don't want him to get injured, but I wanted some epiphany to tell me it was gonna be all right.

Remember Houston, whenever you point, there are always three fingers pointing right back at you.

Houston Nutt is in his 10th year coaching at Arkansas. During the past 9 seasons whenever his Razorbacks lost to an SEC team for the first time during a season they would then go on to lose to another SEC team in their next SEC showdown. This even goes back to his season at Boise St. where after losing to Louisiana Tech(for a first conference loss) they lost to Utah St in the very next game.

Kentucky's Passing Offense

3rd in SEC 257.7 Yds/Game and 9 TDs in three games No Interceptions by Woodson

Arkansas' Passing Defense

11th in SEC 270.5 Yds/Game and 5 TDs allowed in 2 games

Arkansas' Rushing Offense

1st in SEC 325.5 Yds/Game and 5 TDs in 2 games

Kentucky's Rushing Defense

10th in SEC 185 Yds/Game and 4 Tds allowed in 3 games (Bama only allowed 66.2 before the Arkansas Game)

Kentucky's Rushing Offense

2nd in SEC 246.33 Yds/Game and 11 Tds in 3 games

Arkansas' Rushing Defense

6th in SEC 142.5 Yds/Game and 3 Tds allowed in 2 games

Arkansas Passing Offense hasn't been a factor

Arkansas' Football team has been showcasing two things so far this fall. Darren McFadden's amazing ability to run the football and the Defensive Secondary's inability to defend against the pass. This game has all the makings of a big shootout. With Arkansas running through and around the Kentucky Defense whilst Kentucky will be able to attack this Arkansas Defense from all directions.

I think it's going to be a game of momentum, and if the hogs can take the energy from the croud and keep their chin up after the tough loss at Alabama you'll see the hogs execute on offense. We know Kentucky will execute on offense and the Arkansas Secondary will have to come up with some big plays.

My prediction.... I'm wanting to pick Kentucky. All the signs point that way. If both teams play exactly the way they should then Kentucky walks with this one, but while the Arkansas Secondary will bend and will break at times, I think they will also pick up at least two interceptions which will be the key to this game. I also think that the Arkansas Offense returns to the big plays we saw last year with some breakaway runs of 40 yards or more.

Final Score Arkansas 52, Kentucky 48.

Weekly Picks (Gotta make up for that 7-8): Week 4

2007-09-21T09:49:00.000-05:00

Bonus Picks
LSU 38, South Carolina 7 South Carolina might prove to be a defensive nightmare
Penn State 28, Michigan 24 Penn State breaks an 8 year losing streak

Normal Picks

Alabama over Georgia - UGA is BAD
Michigan State over Notre Dame - Notre Dame is BADDER
Wisconsin over Iowa - Two solid underachievers
UCLA over Washington - Huskies are realing after an Ohio St.
Arkansas over Kentucky - I can't pick against the hogs
Clemson over NC State - Two letters C.J.
Texas Tech over OK State - The pokes just lost to Troy
Pittsburgh over Connecticut - Conneticut is TERRIBLE
Illinois over Indiana - "We named the dog Indiana... "
Brigham Young over Air Force - Toughest pick of the week
Wake Forest over Maryland - Another ACC game that just doesn't matter
Arizona State over Oregon State - 2 out of 3 pac-10 "State" Schools ASU is going to go 4-0 for the first time since '04
Texas over Rice - Gimme

A Familiar Story

2007-09-21T08:16:00.000-05:00

Points/Game

42.0____________46.3

Rush Yds/Attempt

6.32______6.35

National Rushing Rank

4th(325.5 Yds/Game)_______________5th(296.33 Yds/Game)

Rushing Attempts Per Game

51.5________46.67

National Passing Rank

104th(153.0 Yds/Game)___________107th(148.3 Yds/Game)

Number of Great Running Backs

two___two

Two teams that have been in the top 25 this year. Both teams lost to unranked opponents recently.

Team on the left is the Arkansas Razorbacks and the team on the right is the Texas A&M aggies. Both losing on the road recently and leaving a bad taste in their fans mouths. Both fan bases and media have been pushing these two teams about the passing game.

While the Razorbacks looked completely awful against the pass in the 1st and 4th quarters against the Tide, the overall performance of the team wasn't awful this past weekend. Texas A&M looked downright bad. It was nice of them to show that nice pregnant lady so those of us watching on t.v. didn't have to watch the awful slaughter. Gig 'Em.

Though in all fairness to Texas A&M they got down by a lot and didn't have a running back quite on the level of Darren McFadden to bring them back into the game. I think it was a terrible coaching decision by the Fran not to put in Lane and just run right at them. The guy has 7 TDs in 3 games and you give him two carries! If you don't challenge for the South this year or at least beat Texas they might be shoving one of those senior boots right up your ass as they kick you out of college station.

Feature Player of the Week: Kentucky

2007-09-20T09:15:00.000-05:00

Andre Woodson has been sacked 8 times in the 2007 season. Other SEC starting QBs, Tim Tebow - 2, Chris Nickson - 3, Matt Flynn - 5 , Casey Dick - 0 (but that's because he rarely passes), Matt Stafford - 6, John Parker Wilson - 4, Brandon Cox - 8, Micheal Henig - 5 (that's cuz he threw 6 picks in one game though), South Carolina's QBs - 4+1+1 = 6, and Erik Ainge - 1

So he's tied with Matt Stafford, but my point in all of this is that the guy gets sacked a lot. Now Andre Woods isn't the player of the week this week, I have a group of 5 guys. This weeks feature players of the week are:

The Pourous Kentucky Offensive Line!

Center: Eric Scott, 6-5, 275, Sr

Guard: Jason Legger, 6-1, 287, Sr

Guard: Zipp Duncan, 6-5, 280, So

Offensive Tackle: Justin Jeffries, 6-6, 300, So

Offensive Tackle: Garry Williams, 6-3, 276, So

These guys are Arkansas' best shot at closing down Kentucky's passing attack. Only two of these guys, Scott and Williams, were starters last year. Which might be a good thing as last year Andre stood in the pocket and got sacked a whopping 36 times along with 1.5 more sacks for the backups. The team ranked 9th nationally in getting sacked for a total of 259 lost yards. If these guys play well, Kentucky should have a good game, but if they turn in a 6 sack performance like they did at Florida last year Andre won't be a happy camper back there and the vaunted Kentucky passing offense will crumble.

I still think they have a higher number they can reach for. I think if Kent State could pull off 4 sacks this year Arkansas can turn in 8. Just be glad it's not Glen Dorsey guys.

Game prediction to come tomorrow. I'm still thinking the overtime record could be shattered with these defenses.

Notre Dumb

2007-09-19T08:33:00.000-05:00

Notre Lame
Notre playing in a BCS Bowl
Notre hoping they don't go 0-8 Dame

The Wimpy Irish
The Fighting ... hehe not really
The Irish
The Drinking Irish

Types of Sports Fans

2007-09-19T08:13:00.000-05:00

The Bandwagoneer - Oh, They're good I'll cheer for them. There were no Colts fans about 5 years ago, I mean none... Now look at them climbing out of the woodwork.

The Multiteamer - This can often be someone who is similar to the Bandwagoneer. Usually they went to a school or come from an area where the school isn't any good. i.e. "I went to Oklahoma State, but they're never any good... I always cheer for Texas if they aren't playing OSU" This is only exceptable fandom under the following conditions: The teams are in seperate conferences(including NFL)/Leagues; You cheer for a team from where you are from and where you went to school (From Kentucky so you like Kentucky Basketball, but you go to Michigan State so you cheer for Kentucky as long as they aren't playing Tom Izzo's boys).

The Painter - These guys Rock. Doesn't matter if it's cold or what they get to the game early and they don't wear shirts, they wear paint. It's like they put pure spirit right on the skin.

The Early Leaver - They want to know the outcome, but sometimes it's more important that they get home quickly rather than see the game. The real meaning of all of this is they thought the game was gonna be more fun.

The Former Player - Usually these guys played High school ball and only got 5 touches a season on offense and on Defense they got ran over, but they will tell you details about the game any diehard sports fan should know, but they'll treat it like it's gold that they gleaned from their playing days. Like they were an assistant coach under JoPa. The good players spent 15 years playing football every day and they're done talking about it.

The Wrong Stat Guy - This guy will debate you on sports and just make it up. Or he'll say the wrong team. "Oh yeah, Chad Johnson was a beast for the Tennessee Titans last year."

The Bad Predictor - "Arkansas can challenge for the BCS Championship this year" yeah that's me, but for me it's more hope than being bad. Worst prediction I've heard this year though is definately Steve Phillips, but we don't talk about baseball.

Overanalyzing

2007-09-17T11:53:00.000-05:00

You can watch the game again and again. Break down each play and what went wrong, but the fact remains the hogs did so much to climb back in the game to just let it slip away. They coulda won it and they didn't. It's quite obvious this team is the opposite of last year though. The hog offense could stall last year and then the defense would show up to put the game away, but this year Arkansas is going to have to score score score.

The game is coming soon

2007-09-14T16:23:00.001-05:00

The hogs are ready to take this game, and I think even with being ranked 16th in the nation to Bama's UR the hogs will be able to have a chip on their shoulder, because they aren't getting much love. That's how we like it. Last year everyone questioned us until the Tennessee game, and we got the pick in that game and we won, but from there on out the season got worse. Miss. St. was a debacle as were the three losses that followed. The hogs have more to prove than any team in the country or SEC this weekend. If the hogs can handle this game and the Tennessee game at Neyland, then look for some of that love to return. But all of this stems on this one game. I think I can say for sure every year the tone setting game of the season will always be Alabama.

Feature Player of the Week

2007-09-13T10:15:00.000-05:00

The newest feature here on BvB is the Feature Player of the Week. This isn't a salute to the players that show up and play they asses off and win the game for their team. This is to feature those players that will lose the game for their team.

This week we're talking about a player that every Arkansas fan loves and every Alabama fan never wants to see out on the field.

Leigh Tiffin

Position: Kicker
From: Muscle Shoals, AL
Height: 5' 10"
Weight: 170 lbs
Class: Sophomore

Stats: 12/21 FG attempted 3/7 from beyond 40. 12/13 on extra point attempts

Signature Performance: Alabama @ Arkansas 2006 , After going 7/9 in his first three home games, Tiffin on the road in Arkansas was 1/4 in a game that went to overtime, missing a 30 yarder with 3:06 left in the game, a 37 yarder in Overtime, and an extra point in Overtime to let Arkansas take the game from the Tide. This loss set Arkansas on an eight game winning streak and left the tide to lose 6 of their next 9 games getting Tide Coach Mike Shula fired.

This week the young man hopes to help his team on to victory, and at home he should have better luck doing it. If he even gets the chance to kick against the #16 Razorbacks look for him to spend as long as he can trying to psyche himself up. Look for tide coach Nick Saban to go for it on questionable 4th and 4 or to punt from the 20 on back.

Leigh Tiffin is my hero!

The SEC Top to Bottom

2007-09-12T12:52:00.000-05:00

LSU - The Tigers are number one in the country and dead last in our hearts.
Florida - Until they screw it up they still got it, but I don't see anyone stopping them until they play the SEC title game.
South Carolina - The Cocks get the nod after a big win at Georgia. With their rough schedule playing @ LSU, Tenn, and Arkansas they will either soar or be served up in the SEC Fried Chicken Bucket
Arkansas - If Darren McFadden and the hogs can pull off the road wins against Bama and Tennessee, they may find themselves in a position to challenge LSU for dominance in the West and the SEC. Injuries and defensive Miscues could put them out of games they should win.
Tennessee - After suffering a 45-31 loss to Cal in week 1 it's impressive the Vols are up this high on the Scale, but with QB Erik Ainge they can play with anyone. A loss at Florida might cause them to slip if Kentucky can match up to Louisville
Alabama - Bama has a tough crew coming into their house, but look for them to try to expose the Arkansas weakness in the Defensive Secondary. If Terry Grant can continue grabbing games of 150 yards or more look for the Tide to challenge LSU for the West. The tide have LSU coming to Tuscaloosa : UPSET ALERT
Kentucky - The Wildcats are riding Woodson's coattails, but if they can't put up a win for the SEC against Big East Louisville look for them to spin out of control for the rest of the season.
Georgia - A week 1 win against Oklahoma State had Georgia at the top of the East last week, but a loss to USC puts them down to 5th edging out Vandy. Look for them to bounce back. They still think they can win the East, but they need to get over their Florida Phobia.
Auburn - K. State was too close... South Florida??? Really? If you go through and start beating SEC teams now you're gonna make our conference look bad. The only thing Auburn should look forward to is another Iron Bowl Victory this season.
Vandy - With a win over Ole Miss Vandy may gain some confidence, but it may not be enough to make it through the top 5 teams in the East.
Mississippi St. - Winning on the road against C-USA bottom dweller Tulane gave the Bulldogs some confidence, but facing a pissed off Auburn team this week will push Mississippi St. down to their coveted number 12 spot.
Ole Miss - Too close with Memphis and then losing to Mizzou. The Rebels better get it going against Vandy this week or they may hold on to the 12 spot for another week.

The JTExperience Alternate Rankings:

LSU - Yeah, ok...these guys are pretty fucking good. Outscoring teams like 45436-7 in their first two games...Glenn "Meast-man" Dorsey eats folding metal chairs for breakfast and washes 'em down with battery acid. I wish he was my dad, or at least my uncle or something.
Florida - Tebow is the truth. I used to think that he's just a big white kid who can bust through the line on short yards.....but he's got an arm on him too. They'll plow through the East just as Tebow plows through UF sororities. Look out, Nikki Meyer.
Arkansas - They fucking rock too. Ok, the secondary is kinda weak (like a lot) and every time QB Casey (I have no) Dick touches the ball my scrotum clenches a little, but Darren McFadden makes up for all of it. I mean, he's rated a 99 on NCAA '08, which means he's God. And Felix Jones is better than most all others as well. Our THIRD STRING runner in Michael Smith even kicks ass. They're a one trick pony, but they do that one trick really well.
South Carolina - Surprised the hell out of everyone by beating Georgia, including those of us who think we know a lot about football. Strangely enough, it was their defense that strangled Jo-Ja, while Coach Spurrier is much better known for his offensive game. This team is an enigma, wrapped in a cloak of mystery, etc.
Georgia - Where the hell did these guys come from? They lost to the freaking Cocks, but everyone's picking them to do really well by doing things like winning lots of games, etc. Whatever. Here they are.
Tennessee - So does anyone else remember when Erik Ainge only got the start because he sucked less than Bitchass Clausen? Apparently he's "good" now or something. Whatever. They have ugly colors, and play an obnoxious fight song.
Alabama - They're actually better than I'm giving them credit for...but at the end of the day in the SEC, they'll still end up middle of the pack. They've got talent, a really expensive coach, a shitty kicker, and a lot of hard teams to play.
Auburn - They some pussies for losing to South Florida. That's absurd.
Kentucky - Good QB, some talent on both sides....wait a minute, who am I kidding? It's Kentucky.
Vanderbilt - May have the most high-class poon in the SEC, but they still suck at football. Good job guys.
Mississippi State - Yeah, got their asses handed to them by LSU, but....it's LSU. They're really fucking good (See #1). But both the Mississippi schools blow, so here they are. At least they're not #12, but I don't think that'll be enough to keep Sylvester Croom's job.
Ole Miss - Bitches. The Big O better start shouting around somewhere else for new employment.

What play are you calling?

2007-09-12T09:32:00.000-05:00

Bill Belichik: yeah, let's call up the Scoop 90 Spy.

Tedy Bruschi : Is that the play where I watch and make sure the QB doesn't run?

Bill Belichik: No Bruschi... It used to be but now it's not so just shut the hell up. We got a new system now!

Matt Estrella: Hold on let me run the tape back.

Bill Belichik: Hurry Up... What's it say?

Matt Estrella: Don't Rush me

Bill Belichik: Hey! you're an assistant on this team and you wouldn't be here if you couldn't read lips!

Matt Estrella: Ok. They are either running a pass play or a run play.

Bill Belichik: Aren't you supposed to have figured out which is which by now?

Matt Estrella: What you think I'm some freaking Genius?

Eric Mangini: Is someone talking about Geniuses?

Bill Belichik: ummm Nooo.

Eric Mangini: Are you my conscience?

Matt Estrella: Minute Man to Founding Father... the Plane has left the Airport... I repeat the Plane has left the Airport

Bill Belichik: Aww crap this is gonna get me caught isn't it?

Arkansas Bammer Prediction

2007-09-11T10:48:00.000-05:00

So I know in my joke post about the Arkansas Schedule this year, I said that Nick Saban would control this game and win it for the Tide... actually I said that he would play for them and win it.

Every once in awhile I like to give real analysis and break the game down. This is a huge game for both teams. With Auburn seeming like they are on the down this year it looks like the team that wins this game will have the best shot at coming in 2nd or 1st if they can find a way to compete with the Bayou Bengals of LSU.

"I tell you, it's always been a big win for us," said Nutt, who is 5-4 against Alabama. "Any time we've beaten Alabama, I think it helps us our season. There's a lot of respect we have versus Alabama. Our players know it's always the first SEC game. There's a big rivalry there between both of us. It's always been good when we're able to get the first one."

This game is also big because of the result of the 2006 clash where Alabama let Arkansas off the hook with Leigh Tiffin's inconsistent kicking and ballsy play by a freshman QB who after throwing 3 interceptions still through to the end zone for the tying touchdown to set up the game winning PAT.

The Game - Who Gets the EDGE

Quarterbacks
This game might just come down to whichever Quarterback plays best. Largely whichever quarterback coughs it up least. In the past 3 years Casey and John have 10 and 11 interceptions respectively, but John Parker Wilson started all 13 games last season with a record of 6-7. JPW made more attempts last season than Casey Dick has in his entire career. The experience edge goes to John Parker Wilson, but as both QBs are coming into this game hoping to get their first TD passes of the season, I'm going to put them on an even playing field and say tie, with a small nod going to the Home QB.

Running backs
Everyone knows the first person I would normally mention in this comparison and be done with it, but Bama has a great running back in Terry Grant. The real edge in this has to go to the hogs who have a 3rd stringer in Micheal Smith that can play at the same level as Terry. Arkansas has Darren McFadden and Felix Jones in the backfield along with fullback Peyton Hillis. It's a rather large advantage for the hogs also considering Alabama's starting Fullback Jimmy Johns is questionable with a twisted ankle. The hogs get the major edge in this category.

Wide Recievers
With Peyton Hill receiving most of the catches for the hogs out of the backfield, The Razorbacks Wideouts didn't get the ball much in their first game. The long bright spot in the Wide Recievers for the hogs was a 42 yard touchdown throw from Darren McFadden to Freshman Crosby Tuck. While the Tide's wideouts only have 1 touchdown between them from backup QB Greg McElroy, DJ Hall has more catches and yards in each game than all of the razorbacks receivers combined in their first game. The Tide get the edge in this one, but look for the hogs to improve greatly when Tight End Ben Cleveland and Flanker Marcus Monk return.

Defense
Alabama has only given up 16 points in the past 2 games while Arkansas allowed Troy to score 26 including a touchdown as time expired in the 4th quarter. The Hogs weak secondary will allow the tide to score their first touchdown through the air this season. The front 7 for the hogs and the tide have gone untested by a terrible Trojan and Vanderbilt rushing attack. Both of these teams will be facing backs of a much higher caliber in this next game. The edge goes to the Tide.

Special Teams
Hogs win the kicking battle. Leigh Tiffin's historic meltdown against the hogs last season will leave him forever on my list as worst kickers in the history of college football. Meanwhile the hogs have Freshman sensation Alex Tejada who was perfect except for a bad hold on his final PAT. The Punt return edge definitely goes to the Tide. Arkansas has more questions to answer on fielding punts than on any other part of the field. With a lost fumble in the last game, Houston Nutt has had to shuffle Peyton Hillis back their to field punts. The tide have a punt returner who is an exciting play maker. Against Vanderbilt, Sophomore D-Back Javier Arenas (cousin of NBA Star Gilbert Arenas), showed a little bit of Hibachi himself with a 69 yard return to the Vanderbilt 1-yard line to set up a touchdown. On Kick returns the hogs use Felix Jones and Darren McFadden. Felix has taken 3 kicks back for touchdowns and already has one for this season. Javier will do well, but the hogs have two terrific backs back there. The overall Special Teams edge goes to the hogs provided they are free from Punt Return fumbles

The EDGE for this game goes to the Hogs! In a close one where the defenses will give up a few big plays look for the hogs and their explosive backfield to have more. Nick Saban is excited about the challenge of dealing with a player like D-Mac, but he won't be excited after the final seconds tick from the clock with his team behind the hogs for the game and for the season.

Kings of Sports

2007-09-10T10:25:00.000-05:00

Roger Federer just posted his 4th U.S. Open title and more importantly his 12th overall grand slam win. Already tabbed as possibly the greatest player to play the sport, his long list of accolades and records would fill up this blog to the point of busting.

And in honor of tonight's opener for the Arizona Cardinals I'll remind you of another moment of Kingly Greatness:

the Bears are who we thought they were! That’s why we took the damn field!
Now, *hits microphone* if you want to crown them, then crown their ass! But,
they are who we thought they were, and we let them off the hook!

Weekly Picks (started 2 weeks too late): Week 3

2007-09-10T08:50:00.000-05:00

I'm not doing the complete picks, these are just my picks from rivals.com's "pick 'em" game.

Florida State over Colorado
Georgia Tech over BC
Kentucky in the upset of Louisville
UCLA over the Utes of Nevada... I mean Utah
Tennessee over Florida
Notre Dame over Michigan (If it's possible, they will both lose)
Washington and Jake "the legs" Locker upset Ohio State
Iowa dominates Iowa State
Illinois (orange) beats Syracuse (orange) in what looks to be the ugliest game of the week
Michigan State over Pitt
North Carolina over Virginia
Vanderbilt over Ole Miss
South Carolina over South Carolina State

And for the bonus picks (the theme is "kinda" red):

USC 31 - Nebraska 27
Arkansas 28 - Alabama 17

So far in the 30 games between week 1 and 2 that we picked I am 23-7 for a rank of 9035 overall. My mistakes: Tennesse over Cal, OK State over UGA, Memphis over Ole Miss (I'm a homer), Arizona over BYU (week1), Michigan over Oregon, UGA over South Carolina, Auburn over South Florida.

I hate the pistons

2007-08-26T21:13:00.000-05:00

Pretty Boy Rip Hamilton making fun of himself.

You got it Right, but you're still wrong

2007-08-17T10:42:00.000-05:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&id=2977178&sportCat=ncf

I've had it with Pat Forde. He's correct that the SEC is a much better conference than the Pac-10 and that if you go team by team the SEC would win, but what's the deal with the Fan ratings. No one cares... The fans don't play football.

USC vs. LSU - I'll give this one to USC just because they are more proven

Cal vs. Florida - Florida has the edge

UCLA vs. Tennessee - Vols Roll

Oregon St. vs. Auburn - Auburn

Oregon vs. Georgia - Oregon

Arizona St. vs. Arkansas - Arkansas

Arizona vs. Alabama - Arizona

Washington St. vs. South Carolina - SC

Washington vs. Kentucky - Kentucky

Stanford vs. Ole Miss - Ole Miss

7-3 and I think I was being generous to the Pac-10. Base it on the play Forde... I don't care about the Georgia fans throwing things at Auburn players... If you cover THAT you better cover them throwing things at the band members in a game that they won!

Arkansas Skill Players

2007-08-17T08:20:00.000-05:00

I use that term skill loosely, but the starters for the Razorbacks on offense currently sit at:

QB: Casey Dick
RB: Darren McFadden
FB: Peyton Hillis
WR: Marcus Monk
WR: Reggie Fish
TE: Andrew Davie

Coach Reggie Herring of “ We aren’t happy, ” Herring replied, “ until we go undefeated and date the prom queen. ”, has often done his best to make sure he has the best players on the field period. If he has 4 awesome Defensive Tackles and no good Defensive Ends... He makes two DTs into two DEs. It's always about having the best players on the field... I think Houston Nutt should take that approach, so here I have the new starters in the skill positions.

QB: Darren McFadden (RB)
RB: Micheal Smith (RB)
FB: Farod Jackson (FB)
WR: Marcus Monk (WR)
WR: Felix Jones (RB)
TE: Peyton Hillis (FB)

Let the games begin!

No love for the Tigers

2007-08-16T10:34:00.000-05:00

"Nobody Loves me" claim the Tigers Adamantly as they squeeze the life out of an OU player in their '04 national championship.

The talk at Tiger practice is comging from the coaches saying "I don't love you, your momma don't love you... and your girlfriend doesn't love you, because while you're here at practice she's in the frat house doing 6 guys!"

These tigers are in need for love especially with the lack of national attention and hype headed their way this season. After 12 ESPN "experts" made their picks for the 2007 season the Tigers were shocked to find out that, though all 12 of them had picked them to win the SEC West, only 10/12 of the writers and analysts picked them to win the SEC title game.

The tigers and their mothers(who apparently do love their little tiger cubs) are currently writing to Pat Forde and Jim Donnan for claiming that Florida is better than the LSU Tigers. They are also upset about the fact that their preseason hype has only carried them to the theoretical preseason National Championship 3 out of those 10 times and all of those writers predicted them to lose to USC (All 12 writers picked USC to win the national championship... Way to get dangerous there boys).

Meanwhile the Razorbacks are over in Hog Country getting their special love from coach Herring. " We aren't happy, " Herring replied, " until we go undefeated and date the prom queen. "

Just Ignore it, Maybe it'll just go away.

2007-08-15T09:42:00.000-05:00

So they play "football", but it's probably the only football that I'm not interested in. I say this lightly, it MAY be more entertaining than Preseason NFL.

I am speaking of course about the Western Athletic Conference. The things the WAC can brag about...

We have ridiculous passing numbers

We run the best trick plays.

We have this one team that has a blue field.

Those last two points bring me to the team this particularly rough ridicule is going to be directed at. Who cares?

Boise get over yourselves. It's a farce that you even made it into the BCS last year and it is even more ridiculous that you won. Chokelahoma needs to just stop playing bowl games and enjoy their regular season success. Is anyone going to be watching any WAC games besides Boise St. vs. Hawaii this next season? I can't believe I'm going to be interested in that one.

So the media and everyone else loves the midmajors in basketball. If they dominate their conference all season long and win their conference championship, then they can go through 6 more games to prove themselves. The midmajors in football are just annoying, because they can't prove themselves. I think you could expand the BCS to a playoff game and have the WAC play C-USA, and the MAC play Sun-Belt, but that would be more games for these teams to play with their piece of shit depth and there limited collection of trick plays. Plus none of those teams would be deserving of the BCS unless they had beaten someone of consequence.

I am proud of Boise State fans for not complaining that they won a disputed national championship or any of that crap. I'm getting sick of Boise and I just won't them to drift off back into obscurity where they belong. Pac-10 should throw them a line and let them in though. USC needs some more punching bags.

Homer In

2007-08-13T15:27:00.000-05:00

I like the Arkansas Razorbacks. They are my team for this year and every year to come. So, despite my homering love for the razorbacks, I think I have a pretty accurate idea of what is going to happen this next season and I'm going to share those predictions with you right now.

Sept. 1st in Fayetteville Hogs beat Troy St.
The Hog Faithful have hyped this up as the 3rd game in a row between the hogs and the USC Trojans, asking the Troy St. players and small contingent of fans to just play along. When the USC players make passes or get tackled or whatever, the PA announcer will use USC player names like Reggie Bush, Carson Palmer, Matt Leinart, Troy Polamalu, and even ineligible sophomores Damian Williams and Mitch Mustain. The Broyles Center continues to use this victory as a rallying point for Hog Fans for the rest of the season. Final Score (54-10)

Sept. 15th in Fayetteville Hogs lose to Nick Saban
No, not against Alabama. The hogs play Nick Saban to a close game, but his $4 mil a year is too powerful for the players and their lack of salary. The Alabama players come to the game, but after a demoralizing loss to Vandy the week before Saban chooses to not let any of them play, except a few downs where John Parker Wilson just chucks it at the end zone and Nick Saban runs 80 yards and catches it despite the hogs quadruple coverage. Thinking that at least Nick Saban can't cover all 4 wideouts on defense the hogs employ a spread offense, but the quarterbacks fail to complete passes to wide open recievers with (as Casey Dick says), "Him looking at me that way." Final Score (13-38)

Sept. 22nd in Fayetteville Hogs beat Kentucky
Andre Woodson and the Wildcats roll in to Fayetteville with their chins up following a loss to Louisville the week before. "I don't know why they have their chins up," says Reggie Herring, "if I lose to a team from the Big East I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror without wanting to commit suicide." The hogs jump out to a 38-10 lead at halftime, but Houston feeling sporty and remembering how much fun the 2003, 7 overtime thriller was in Lexington, decides he wants the home fans to get the same experience. With the hogs having the power to completely dictate every aspect of the game, coach Rich Brooks gets tired of watching his non-factor team get tossed around the field for 9 overtimes and tackles Darren McFadden himself getting himself suspended and earning a 501 tattoo that the Razorbacks star running back forces him to get after the game is over. Final Score (79-71)

Sept. 29th in Fayetteville Hogs roll over North Texas
A coach who went 79-1 in a state where it is tougher to play high school football than it is to play Big East football is a scary prospect. While the coaching may be supreme, the talent just won't be there to keep the hogs out of the endzone a pornographic number of times. After the horror of watching the Razorbacks belittle the Nice Green, The rookie Coach, Todd Dodge, wakes up the next day and drives to Southlake and begs for his old job back. Final Score (55-7)

Oct. 6th in Little Rock Hogs defeat UT Chattanooga
Why are the mocks even playing football? The Hog schedulers are taking a spot reserved for perennial Sunbelt loser Lousiana Monroe, and replacing it with a team that frankly can't play football. The starters on this team couldn't win the University of Arkansas Intramural league. Darren McFadden, Felix Jones, Marcus Monk, and Peyton Hillis don't even dress out for this game. They hang out in the student section with H-O-G-S painted on their chests, but they stand in the wrong order the whole game so it says "GOSH". Houston Nutt lets the Razorback fans in attendance pick the plays by text messaging him. Final Score (55-0)

Oct. 13th in Fayetteville Hogs lose to Auburn
Auburn is a solid team and The Cox are just too much better than the lone Dick. While the running games are both very solid, the defenses will prove too powerful to let either one by. The Razorbacks weak secondary will allow the Cox to plunge the ball down their throats time after time after time. Look for the Hogs to rally when Nutt uses Nathan "The Vagina" Emert in the 3rd and 4th quarter as his Vaginal Skills will spur the hogs to a too little, too late comeback. Final Score (27-35)

Oct. 20th in Oxford Hogs Beat Ole Miss Rebels
Oxford is place where the hogs spotty performances have resulted in some bizarre games including a 7 overtime thriller in 2001. The hogs have been 2-2 in the last four games played in Oxford, but hope to prove their #4 place in the SEC West with a win over the Rebels. The hogs playing only their second road game start off shaky, but following a fumble by Benjarvus Green-Ellis, the hogs take advantage and take the game. Coach Orgeron eats his own head after the game and the rebels use their underused talent to go undefeated for the rest of the season, but the game ends Final Score (28-24)

Oct. 27th in Fayetteville Hogs beat Florida International
Following a home game against Miami in which the entire Florida International Team is suspended for using Hand Guns in a brawl, the game is forfeited. All of the fans still show up and watch Houston Nutt play the game on NCAA Football 2008 on the jumbo tron. The game is boring as Houston's only offensive play is "HB Dive". The beauty of the game is remarked on by several fans saying things like "It's like I'm really there" and "Darren McFadden looks so real". Houston Nutt loses to Florida in the game by a score of 14-6, but the actual game goes down as a win for the Hogs. Final Score (0-0)

Nov. 3rd in Fayetteville Hogs Edge Gamecocks
Steve Spurrier emits a string of unintelligible curses throughout the entire game. The old Ball coach can't understand why his pants keep falling down until he realizes that fellow old man, Frank Broyles and soon to be ex Athletic Director for the Hogs, pantses him at the beginning of the play, but Spurrier focuses on the play long enough for the agile Broyles to hide. The distractions to his coaching and the distraction to his players (his underwear that says "Fun and Gun") aid in the hogs in a narrow victory despite their weak secondary. Final Score (17-14)

Nov. 10th in Knoxville Hogs beat Tennessee
Frank Broyles is at it again trying to pants Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer, but as Phil doesn't even care about coaching the games anymore he catches the ancient trickster on his first try and has him thrown off to jail. The hogs indignant at the Jailing of their AD, proceed to listen to the Foo Fighters' song Hero and beginning playing a James Vander Beek, Varsity Blues style football with slow motion effects that the volunteers just don't understand. As the game progresses the strains of Rocky Top get slower and slower as the Hogs use their running game, a blocked punt, a kick off return for a touchdown, an interception return for a touchdown, and a long bomb for a touchdown as only the writers and directors of Hollywood can be so arrogant to believe are in every single football game. Final Score (38-35) *despite the apparent dominance by the Hogs

Nov. 17th in Little Rock Hogs beat Miss. St.
After being set free, Frank Broyles regains public approval using his superior fundraising skills to convince several rich fans to donate everything they own including their souls for the University of Arkansas and Razorback Athletics. Using the Souls of old rich people, the razorback players are given supernatural powers that don't help them play football but do help them improve their ability to make smart fiscal decisions. With the knowledge that they and their loved ones will be taken care of if something happens to them the Razorbacks play with wild abandon and issue a sound defeat to the Bulldogs. Final Score (42-21)

Nov. 23rd in Baton Rouge Hogs end LSU's national Title hopes on Thanksgiving.
The hogs shake off their weird desires for financial prosperity and Matlock and show up to play solid footbal for their final regular season game. The Tigers Senior day is marred by a defeat at the hands of the hogs superior running attack... Ok, who am I kidding. The Tigers are #1 in the country at this point and they have been dominating teams all season long. They have some spotty play at running back and quarterback sometimes, but the overall talent level of the offense and defense has kept them ahead of every team so far and against the hogs it will be no difference. Let's just hope no one gets hurt. Final Score (13-26)

There you have it. The Razorbacks season laid out for you. Final Record 9-3(5-3)

The hogs will take 3rd place in the SEC West after Nick Saban injures himself halfway through the season and has to let his players play again. They are actually #5 in the SEC edging out Tennessee and South Carolina, but behind LSU, Auburn, Florida, and Georgia. Auburn will get the Sugar Bowl game and Florida Capital One. Outback Bowl will pick up Georgia and Arkansas will finally get that Cotton Bowl appearance they've been wanting for years.

The hogs will be taking on a Big 12 team which will fall to the mighty rushing of Darren McFadden. Ending in a 10-3 season where fans will once again be asking for Houston Nutt's head. We will hear over and over again for the following 9 months, "despite a 10 win season and a Heisman Trophy winning first overall pick of the NFL Draft, Houston Nutt is on the hot seat as Arkansas fans are demanding a BCS bowl". Don't you get sick of it?

Are you crying?

2007-08-08T08:58:00.000-05:00

There's no Crying in Baseball

And Barry Bonds didn't.

We don't talk about Baseball on here, though, do we?

Lots of fans are crying though.

If you do wanna talk about Baseball though the better story is the batters hit by pitch in the Yankees vs. Bluejays game! That's a story.

2007-08-07T11:08:00.000-05:00

So This Guy has to be the funniest guy I have ever read online. He obviously has no clue.

Pretty sweet Tattoo by the way Darren. Let me know the last time you had to hold a clip board. At least you could hold a clip board as opposed to the way Steve Slaton can't even feel his own hand.

What's so great about Sports?

2007-08-02T13:29:00.000-05:00

So after being around for a little while the question might come up... What are you all about at BvB?

"I'm not a role model. " Charles Barkley
"Only poor people go to jail." Charles Barkley
"Arrogant, pompous, obnoxious, vain, cruel, verbose, a showoff. I have been called all of these. Of course, I am." Howard Cosell

I think that could sum it up huh? but after you get those major points out of the way... What're you left with. Sports. Now we may not like ALL sports, but we do love sports. We love competition.

"Because people sometimes miss it, and sometimes they don't have it, they want it. And when they have it, they don't want it." Roger Federer On rivalries

We all want some competition out there. So don't fault me for this, but I am going to be attending one of the days at the PGA Championships this next week. Not because I love golf, but because I love sports. I love watching peole compete.

"Hockey is a sport for white men . Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. " Tiger Woods

Sports is an interesting world where a large percentage of people play sports, but a small percentage are very very good. We (those that are not very good) choose to watch sports because we can see something that we cannot do. A world is on display that keeps us informed of our inadequacies while we are entertained and enthralled. We watch the moves that our heroes use. We still take them out onto the basketball court and try to do the things that Dwayne Wade and Lebron James do. We try to go out there and bring in a touch down catch one handed or juke an opponent out of their shoes. And in our failures at performing those things that we witness from the players, we find ourselves and we find why we love sports so much.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Micheal Jordan

Gettin' Money is my Sport

2007-07-13T10:31:00.000-05:00

Long time no entry, but frankly, besides some tennis and All-Star Baseball, we're in the dog days of sports where NOTHING is going on. Nothing. Except WNBA; whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

But, a few small items of note have occured over the past couple weeks, including some big free agent signings and some summer league crap.

First of all, WTF MATE?!?!?! Rashard Freaking Lewis was signed to a 127 million dollar, 6 year contract!!!

I mean, he's a good player and all....but not 127 million good. Homeboy will still be pulling 20 million and more down when he's on the wrong side of 30...and coupled with Dwight Howard's contract, the Magic are tied up for years to come. Good for a 5th seed in the East every year; woo.

A very comparable player G-Wallace, was signed for a VERY reasonable 57 million for 6.

So apparently, the 4.3 points that Shard averages more than Crash are worth 70 million dollars. I politely beg to differ. Gerald has better numbers in rebounding, assists, blocks, steals, and is younger. So WTF is going on in Orlando?

Portlant bought out Stevey Franchise's contract, so he's free to go to the Clippers to be with his ~~soulmate~~ ~~partner~~ "buddy" Cuttino Mobley. He said he would be "made whole" by reuniting with Cat Mobley. I just say, whatever floats your boat there, Steve.

This brings us to the piece de resistance, my girl Miss Gossip's interview with Greg Oden. I wish she'd marry me...she's a Suns fan and everything...it would be so beautiful....

anyways, this is all over the internet tubes, and for good reason; it's tight as hell.

"That was not an infection, believe me." "I was completely sober! She was just backin' it up real good..."

Greg is probably one of the realest dudes in the league. Keep lookin' up brutha.

To round it up, we got Darko going to my Memphis bruthas (relatively cheap, good fit; he'll blossom. Darko has been freed.), Chauncey Billups re-upped wit Detroit for a reasonable payroll, and GRANT HILL'S GOING TO PHOENIX. That last is bitchin'. They got a great guy and great player for CHEAP, and if his ankle holds up anytime at all, it's a STEAL.

Shout out to Fanhouse for the vid , and The Cavalier at Yaysports for the second picture.

And to my boy Marcus Banks for dropping 42 in the summer leagues, which proves that summer leagues are shit.

Holla'

A Grunt Match

2007-07-04T16:45:00.000-05:00

When a Williams Sister plays the hotness, and the canon powershooting Maria Sharapova you can guarantee three things.

1) The Williams Sister will win
2) The Screaming will scare small children and delight young boys
3) Maria Sharapova will be SO smoking hot that I will almost forget my homering love for America and be tempted to cheer for her.

But seriously. Maria Sharapova now wants to be a Bond Girl. She should get something else in her tennis game. Learn how to do a drop shot... Learn how to come to the net. Find a different part of your game that will actually give you a chance to beat the best. What have you done since your Wimbledon win 3 or 4 years ago? A win at the U.S. Open last year over a recently divorced Justine Henin... Ok, but that's about it. I enjoy the Canon Commercials though, but next time learn to diversify your game or you'll be an after thought in a few years. You'll never be able to win with the hard hitting, screaming style of tennis as long as you have the pioneers of that style back out and closer to healthy doing it better than you.

USA! USA! USA! USA! We did it. We have reestablished ourselves as the most gluttonous nation in the world in Commanding fashion. The competitors lined up for the 92nd running at Surf and Stillwell and 576.5 hot dogs and 144,125 Calories later you have yourself an American champion dominating the slack jawed asian by 3 dogs complete with a regurgitation as Takeru Kobayashi gagged on the giant american weiners so completely swallowed by the mighty, white man from San Jose, California. Long Live Joey Chestnutt... King of Eating and King of our Great Cholestorol Clogged American Hearts.

Old Man Style

2007-07-03T11:18:00.000-05:00

I'm a big tennis fan, but the only reason I've ever really chosen to cheer for the Williams Sisters comes from the fact that I'm such a Homer. An American Homer. You gotta love the way these girls came on the scene and looked so dominate. They were so good, and then they started getting injury after injury after injury. There injuries are the ones I am proud of people for having. Too much playing and trying too hard. Yesterday I found myself, along with about 13,000 fans at Centre Court in Wimbledon, England, cheering on the younger of the most bootylicious pair of Tennis sisters to ever grace the sport.

Why?

All of the sudden it looked like she was the underdog. Following the 1st set which Serena won, she and Daniela Handtuchova both got a break and fought to a 5-5 tie in the 2nd set. During Handtuchova's serve Serena begins hitting her calf after it tightened up with a cramp. And it's not one of those fake injuries that you see Soccer and Basketball players go down with. This is Calf seizing up and looking like it's gonna pop right off her freaking leg. She goes down and takes a medical time out to get it taken care of. She has to get back up after the time out is over and then loses that game to go down 6-5 and has her serve to take it to a tiebreaker.

Playing like this through the next game not even being able to serve with her normal orgasmic quality, she serves 98 and 108 mph for 2 of her serves only using an arm serve. She is walking around the court playing Old Man tennis like the 80 year old men down at your local tennis court that will whoop you like you're playing with a wooden racquet. So her old man play gets her to 40-30 while down 5-6 for the second set and she serves 110 mph ace!

Props to Serena. They go to the tiebreaker and Handtuchova takes it to her like she should. No mercy and they get to 2-4 Handtuchova in the tiebreaker and then the rain comes. The rain starts pouring down and the crowd actually cheered. For an American! That my friends is ridiculous. So after the rain delay Handtuchova wins the tie breaker, but Serena goes on to win the match in thrilling fashion complete with begging the chair to let her take a bathroom break which he denies her during Handtuchova's serve. Old Man Tennis at it's best.

In another case of Old Man sporting I take you to Roger Clemens and his 350th win. Soon to turn Ancient as he will become 45 next month Roger took it to the Minnesota Twins and held them to two hits. Old Man Pitching from the Rocket has led him to forcing many more groundballs and he finally had the chance to relax on the mound after the Yankeee bats came alive in the 6th and put up some run support. You have to love that gut. I think it's actually helping him pitch now. But you can't deny that old bastard still has some guns! I have my ticket to the gun show... Looks like the twins just got theirs.

This is Why it's Hot, AND Why it's Not.

2007-06-29T22:04:00.000-05:00

Some stuff was good. Some wasn't.

HOT: Ray Allen and Allen Ray playing on the same team. I mean, dur. Not to mention the scintillating drama in Boston after acquiring a 'superstar' to go with Paula Pierce...

NOT: except that they got a guy who's basically a lamer version of Paula, but with a better J, two fresh ankle surgeries, and 52 million dollars left on his contract. But they do have Big Baby.

HOT: The Knicks might actually be good. They got a 23-10 guy for basically nothing, and dumped a massive albatross contract.

NOT: New York is now the Mecca of chubby, offensive-minded, defensively-deficient big guys. Seriously, ain't nobody gonna play a LICK of defense on their frontline. I think New York was like, “Hey, you’ve got a chubby big and a lanky big (Z-Bo and Aldridge), and WE’VE got a chubby big and a lanky big (Curry and Frye), so why don’t we just consolidate? Our lanky for your chubby, eh? Oh, and take this guy too…he’s a ‘Franchise’ player.”

NOTE: Playing Z-Bo and Cupcake Curry at the same time is one thing; what if Portland played Oden, Aldridge, AND Carol Channing Frye at the same time, just for shits and giggles? The ultimate antidote to Small-Ball.

HOT: The Hawks actually drafting prudently.

NOT: Kind of messed up their narrative by drafting someone OTHER than a swingman (and they had such a nice collection started, too), but they might be pretty dang good in a couple years.
Wait, nevermind. It's the Hawks.

HOT: My Memphis brothers got the best point guard in the draft.

NOT: Sorry Pau; you guys are still going to suck for a couple years unless you get a really good big guy real quick. You do have a competent coach now though, so we'll see where that takes you.

HOT/NOT- it's both: Joakim Noah. I don't even know what to say. You got balls, but...Lord son, for already bein' ugly, you ain't doin anything to help yourself.

Cheers.

Attention NBA General Managers and Coaches

2007-06-28T11:25:00.000-05:00

BigFootFool: Tonight you guys have some tough decisions to make. It's like taking a final exam in college or high school. Many of you will blow it off and Christmas Tree this test... or Pick C everytime... Knicks Front Office, I'm looking in your direction... Your decisions tonight will affect the next year and possibly the next ten years of your career. Many of you have done very well in the past on this test and have a system in place that allows you to plug many of these prospects in and for them to be successful, but it doesn't mean you should make your picks lightly, Spurs, Pistons, Suns and Mavs. Some of you have bad systems in place and need to figure out how to get around that... once again Knicks I'm looking in your direction. We're gonna skip over the Remedial Portion of the exam that the trailblazers and the Supersonics are taking. There are only two answers and they are both correct.

First things First. Draft Good players. Draft someone that will be around. Don't draft a bench warmer. That being said draft to fill a hole on your team also. Don't draft someone just because they are the best player left in the draft. For example...Last year the Hawks took a Small Forward. On their practice exam they put down "take a small forward, I don't care who he is". Last year the Hawks failed this exam and almost got lucky enough that they could've taken the remedial exam. So Atlanta Hawks, I want you to write down this statement "Don't Draft a small Forward".

Memphis. Last year you went from a playoff team(albeit swept in 4 games) to a team with not just a bad record, but a terrible record. I'm tempted to say draft a big man, but being a Memphis fan I don't wanna see Joakim Noah there, plus he's not the banger you would need. He's just another European ( wait a minute he went to college in Floriduh...Look it up... he's French) wussy like Pau Gasol. Get a Point Guard. Teach him to shoot threes and it will be like having Jason Williams all over again except not so white.

Boston. You need a good coach, but you can't draft that. Honestly the Offense is there with this team if the defense could get up to the same level. Corey Brewer is a good defensive player that has good offense, too. He could've jumped pro last year especially with his family's financial situation, but he chose to stay and helped rack up another college title. Good character guy. Take Corey Brewer, or take Yi JianLian and trade him. And hire a new coach. His scores on his coaching aptitude test are WAY low.

ok, so there are a few equations you need to understand:

Previously many of you have used these equations:

Players ability to be picked = 1/2Hype + 1/2Foreignness (i.e. Darko Milicic)

Pickability = 1/8Talent + 7/8individual collegiate success (i.e. Adam Morrison)

Pickability = WTF? (i.e. Renaldo Balkman)

Talent = PPG ranking in Foreign or Collegiate Ranks

Tonight use these equations:

Pickability = 5/8Talent + 3/8Team Needs

Pickability = 0*Foreigness + 0* Bad Attitude + 1/2Character + 1/2 Talent

Talent = Offensive + Defensive play

GMs I'll allow you to use this equation, too, but only if you are up front about it:

Pickability = Marketability + Profitability

So tonight when you are picking... Make the right call. Use your head and don't draft something that your owners will throw in your face when they drop you at the end of a 20 win season.

JTExperience: I agree with you for the most part, Bavetta; however, I gotta lay this down.

Portland and Seattle, if you draft anybody besides Kevin Durant or Greg Oden, you fail at life. Your team will be disbanded, or sold to OKC and Las Vegas, respectively. Just don't. No Sam Bowie's here. I pray that you won't make the same mistake twice, Portland. There's no way anyone who is not fucking batshit insane passes over a guy that is Bill Russel's older brother and a guy that is Kevin Garnett's and Tracy McGrady's love child. End of story.

Atlanta...Atlanta...I know how much you want to become Warriors-East, but please, for the love of all that is holy, don't draft a swingman. Your direst needs are at both ends of the spectrum: Big man and point guard. In a draft this stacked, get your big man, and pick up Acie Law IV with your 11th pick. Go big or go home. Draft Al Horford. He's tight as hell as a person, and a BEAST. He's ready to contribute RIGHT NOW.
No! NO! BAD! Do NOT draft another 6-8 guy! NO! Aw, fuckberries.

Memphis: Draft Al Horford. Wait, shit, he's already gone. Well, if Atlanta fucks up and takes a swingman (which is extremely likely), or takes Mike Conley Jr., take Horford. If not, take Mike Conley Jr. Kid is dope. Those are really the only two guys that Atlanta should take, so it follows that you should pick the other. However, Conley is NOT like Jason "3-ball anytime, anywhere" Williams, as my counterpart seems to want; he's a LOT whiter than J-Will.

Ok Boston "Best Young Talent in the League" Celtics...don't fuck up and take that Chinese guy. Just don't. Please. You don't need another 'project.' Also, I want so, so dearly to see him on the Warriors; adding a 7-foot swingman would make them the dopest team in the league, bar none. David J. Stern, this has to happen.
You've got a good young big in Al Jefferson, and you have a disgruntled superstar swingman...so...you really have no excuse for not winning more games in the Leastern Conference. That's freaking pathetic. And a lot of good your tanking asses did, because now you get to draft...Corey Brewer! Damn, we keep agreeing here.
Also, fire your coach. He blows. Throw out your GM while you're at it. He blows too.

The rest of the draft is a crapshoot. There are some good players...whatever. All I know is, Spencer Hawes will get picked WAY too high, Jeff Green will probably be picked WAY too low, and Yi Jianlin had BETTER fucking go to the Warriors. I have to see Yi and Stephen Jackson playing together.

Do NOT pick a guy based solely on his workouts playing against a chair or against 40+ year old assistant coaches. Also, do not pick Johnny McCollege because he averaged 33.5 points a game at PissAnt U. Basically, don't fuck up, or everyone hates you. Good thing the Knicks don't have a lottery pick; at least now they don't fail the test automatically.

NBA Draft: Explaining It to a Chick

2007-06-28T09:48:00.000-05:00

BigFootFool: Ok, so your'e having trouble understanding why guys are getting all worked up about the NBA draft, huh? Well how can I put this in terms you understand...

Ok, So Grey's Anatomy is that show with the doctors that have too much sex and not enough life saving. So imagine that the Portland Trailblazers are the weird looking chick on the show that all the male doctors seems to like. I think the show is named after her, but anyway. She has first pick over all the guys, and so Tonight on ESPN she's going to pick one of the guys, but the thing is it doesn't matter which one she picks because she'll ultimately make bad decisions in other areas and self-destruct until that player becomes a Free Agent (has been around her long enough to get sick of her whining and attempts to kill herself) and goes to a better team and wins an NBA championship.

Ok and how to describe the rest of the field... Basically, you have like 16 teams that aren't like that and the rest all do the same thing. They pick someone that could be a great player, but make bad decision after bad decision until they self-destruct.

You get it now?

JTExperience: That is a very accurate description.

Although, I don't know how you could have "too much sex," as alleged in your third sentence. I guess if the sex cuts in to the lifesaving...then yeah. Really though, that's only bad if you are the one whose life needs saving. Otherwise...nah. Go to it.

Bitch Kissed Me and Didn't Call Back

2007-06-27T20:15:00.000-05:00

What it do baby?

This is Barkley vs. Bavetta, a point/counterpoint commentary and discourse on the world of sports.

I'm the JTExperience, and my cohorts and I will give our somewhat opposite views, opinions, attitudes, and assessments, and try to make it somewhat amusing and entertaining. That's the main goal: to make it funny. No bullshit analysis here, just what bloggers and commenters love: jokes and arguing.

Part of that last falls to you, the commenter. You of Deadspin, KSK, and Yaysports ilk are quite the humourists on these internets. Be so here.

We'll blog chiefly about the NBA, NFL, and college sports with a smattering of MLB and other miscellany. Or whatever else comes to mind.

Inspiration for our name obviously comes from that singular event during this year's NBA All-Star Weekend, the race between Charles Barkely and Dick Bavetta. Our discourse will often be as if these two were debating. I'm Barkely, while my counterpart BigFootFool is Bavetta, (especially the old and crusty part).

Here it is, case you missed it:

Just like BigFootFool is when Brady Quinn walks by, let's laugh long and hard about this sports world; there's plenty of material for it.

Cheers.