When a Williams Sister plays the hotness, and the canon powershooting Maria Sharapova you can guarantee three things.
1) The Williams Sister will win
2) The Screaming will scare small children and delight young boys
3) Maria Sharapova will be SO smoking hot that I will almost forget my homering love for America and be tempted to cheer for her.
But seriously. Maria Sharapova now wants to be a Bond Girl. She should get something else in her tennis game. Learn how to do a drop shot... Learn how to come to the net. Find a different part of your game that will actually give you a chance to beat the best. What have you done since your Wimbledon win 3 or 4 years ago? A win at the U.S. Open last year over a recently divorced Justine Henin... Ok, but that's about it. I enjoy the Canon Commercials though, but next time learn to diversify your game or you'll be an after thought in a few years. You'll never be able to win with the hard hitting, screaming style of tennis as long as you have the pioneers of that style back out and closer to healthy doing it better than you.
USA! USA! USA! USA! We did it. We have reestablished ourselves as the most gluttonous nation in the world in Commanding fashion. The competitors lined up for the 92nd running at Surf and Stillwell and 576.5 hot dogs and 144,125 Calories later you have yourself an American champion dominating the slack jawed asian by 3 dogs complete with a regurgitation as Takeru Kobayashi gagged on the giant american weiners so completely swallowed by the mighty, white man from San Jose, California. Long Live Joey Chestnutt... King of Eating and King of our Great Cholestorol Clogged American Hearts.
5 comments:
SHIT! I was about to post about the exact same things.
I also love how V-Will played pretty lackadaisically through the first 3 rounds, but then turned it on against #2 Sharapova. Completely American right there; just like Shaq, Spurs, everybody. Coast, then turn it on when it counts.
Joey Chestnut broke his own world record of 59.5 hot dogs. That's crazy.
We will all remember where we were when America beat Japan in Nathan's Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest.
VJIHDE Day (Victory over Japan In Hot Dog Eeating Day)
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