Grizzlie's get first win

After losing to the Spurs and the Pacers at home, the grizzlies took 0-2 on the road to Seattle where they came away with a win from the 0-5 Supersonics and Kevin Durant.

Kevin Durant and Rudy Gay are friends and Durant often calls and talks to the Memphis forward, but the calls may not come for awhile after Gay laid 25 points and 10 rebounds to help push the Griz over the Supersonics.

The Lesbian Gym Teacher Mike Miller also added 20 points and the grizzlies are 1/22 on their way to equaling their win total from last year.

Marc Iavaroni got his first win as a head coach.

You know there really isn't a whole lot of interesting about this game except for the fact that natoriously bad for rebounding, Memphis grabbed 25 O. Rebounds against the Sonics. PJ Carlesimo (owner of the gayest name in proffesional sports except that forward for Memphis) was furious with his team for allowing that. In the closing seconds, Kyle Lowery grabbed his own offensive rebound and then drained a 3 pointer to seal the game up.

The key to slowing down a 6-9 Rookie scoring machine that averages 24 points per game like Durant? "Getting into his body and try to alter his shot," Gay said.

Durant ended with 17 points on 3-17 shooting.

Grizzlie's don't win...

but they showed up.

“They gave us all we could handle. They looked like a playoff team. They figured out Coach Iavaroni’s system pretty darn well on both ends of the court,” Popovich said. “I thought they were very, very good. I was a little bit surprised that a team could figure things out that quickly in the season. They’re going to have one hell of a year, and I’m not trying to blow smoke at them or anything. I really believe that. I thought they executed offensively better than we did. Defensively they did a good job, stopped us in a lot of ways.”

3 foreigners, the face of pro basketball has changed

Mr. Longoria had a good game though

Rudy Gay with a great lay in on the fast break.
I think the hand their is to protect him from all the Gay

Mike Millers Hair?
Yep... Still terrible. 11 pts 10 boards isn't a bad night though.

It Has Begun.

The thing that keeps us going through the dark times.


The only respite from The Worldwide Leader fellating the Pats and Colts every Sportscenter Reset.

"Where amazing happens."


29 of last 30. By one guy.

5o+ points...four times in a row.

The piercingly beautiful synergy of a MV3-STAT oop.

The quietly nasty consistency of WALK-TGP.

11 of 11 for buzzer-beaters over 25 feet, while cheating at halo and stealing the rookie's car. He's crazy.

The (still?) birth of a Supersonic Hero.

It's impossible to resist the Pau-er of the Darko Side.

The Three Big Shamrocks with their Likkle Rajon and Big Baby, The Original Big Three, the Fattest Frontcourters and Paycheckers, The Bosh-Bargs, and the New AI...all in the same division. Was the worst, now the best?

Will the man with sad eyes win a playoff series?

Will Boom Dizzle, Captain Jackson, Bellinelli, and NellieBelly topple kings? (again?)



That's why we watch the NBA.

Memphis Grizzlies Practice in Spain

BigFootFool's Preview:

The NBA season is still weeks away, but all over the United States and the World NBA teams have begun preseason practice, exhibitions, and scrimmages all to prepare for the regular season that doesn't matter.

Following a Wednesday Scrimmage in which Pau Gasol's team lost to Darko Milicic's (largely due to 13th year veteran Damon Stoudamire) 34-40, the Grizzlies headed over to Pau Gasol's Homeland, Spain. In Spain they will be gearing up for a Tuesday matchup with Unicaja Malaga. Unicaja Malaga of course being spanish for "Has sex with a goat".

The Griz barely scraped 22 wins last season and hope to have a repeat of their '05 and '06 playoff runs of 0-4 and 0-4 respectively. The differences in this Grizzlies line up are not surprising, but the front offices look startlingly different. No more Jerry West. New GM and most of that office has been overhauled. Marc Iavaroni has taken over the reigns left by Tony Barone, Mike Fratello, and Hubie Brown.

Many Grizzlies Fans are hoping to see Phoenix Suns type numbers from the pupil of Mike D'antoni, but should just hope to see a winning season again in Memphis. Seeing a winning season shouldn't be that surprising because the thinnest PF in the league, Pau "I have a beard" Gasol, is starting the season uninjured, as is starting PG Damon Stoudamire (not to be confused with arthroscopic knee surgery Amare Stoudemire that JTExperience has a huge boner for).

Soon to be the best rookie in the NBA (Mike Conley II), has been challenging Stoudamire for the starting spot, but will probably be relegated to clean up and relief when Damon starts remembering how old he is.

Other tools the Grizzlies will be using this season.

Mike "the lesbian PE teacher" Miller

Darko "I'm a crazy Serbian" Milicic

Rudy "Gay Husky" Gay (a little redundant)

Hakim Warrick (I'm not making fun of Hakim ... he'll fuckin' kill me)

This is the Grizzlies team for the next year and I look for them to make nearly as big a turnaround as the Warriors did last year. I still think when they moved from Vancouver we shoulda called them the Fighting Elvises!

JTExperience's Preview:

Fool, I think you hit it right on the head, pretty much, so I'll be brief.

• Hells yeah I got a boner for STAT! Who don't? I want him to have my children.

• Darko's been freed. Darko and Pau together will kick some ass once they get used to playing together.
  

• I think Junior Conley will play a bigger role than you think. Kyle Lowry Esquire will challenge him for playing time, and we'll see a lot more of these guys with less of Creaky Knees StoudAmire as the season progresses.
  

• In Ivaroni's style of play, look for the Stro-Show to have a breakout 8th year in the league. I just feel it; it's his time.
  

• The Grizz are young and stacked. Pau, Darko, Gay, Stro, and Warrick look like a pretty damned good frontline. Junior, Lowry Esq., Michelle Miller, Juan Carlos Navarro, sharpshooter Casey Jacobsen will be REAL good after a little seasoning, with Ole' Creaky lookin' after 'em. That's runnin' 11 deep right there, not counting three other cats, of which Tarence Kinsey showed a lot of promise late last year.
  

• Yes, Hakim Warrick will fuckin' kill you. He might even add the g on the end.
  

I bet they can win at least one playoff game this year. They'll fasho be one of the most fun teams to watch, next to Phoenix and Golden State. It's just too bad that they're the gayest team in the league, with two of their top 3 players being a lesbian P.E. teacher and a dude whose name actually is 'Gay.' ::sigh::

Gettin' Money is my Sport

Long time no entry, but frankly, besides some tennis and All-Star Baseball, we're in the dog days of sports where NOTHING is going on. Nothing. Except WNBA; whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

But, a few small items of note have occured over the past couple weeks, including some big free agent signings and some summer league crap.

First of all, WTF MATE?!?!?! Rashard Freaking Lewis was signed to a 127 million dollar, 6 year contract!!!

I mean, he's a good player and all....but not 127 million good. Homeboy will still be pulling 20 million and more down when he's on the wrong side of 30...and coupled with Dwight Howard's contract, the Magic are tied up for years to come. Good for a 5th seed in the East every year; woo.

A very comparable player G-Wallace, was signed for a VERY reasonable 57 million for 6.

So apparently, the 4.3 points that Shard averages more than Crash are worth 70 million dollars. I politely beg to differ. Gerald has better numbers in rebounding, assists, blocks, steals, and is younger. So WTF is going on in Orlando?

Portlant bought out Stevey Franchise's contract, so he's free to go to the Clippers to be with his soulmate partner "buddy" Cuttino Mobley. He said he would be "made whole" by reuniting with Cat Mobley. I just say, whatever floats your boat there, Steve.



This brings us to the piece de resistance, my girl Miss Gossip's interview with Greg Oden. I wish she'd marry me...she's a Suns fan and everything...it would be so beautiful....

anyways, this is all over the internet tubes, and for good reason; it's tight as hell.




"That was not an infection, believe me." "I was completely sober! She was just backin' it up real good..."

Greg is probably one of the realest dudes in the league. Keep lookin' up brutha.

To round it up, we got Darko going to my Memphis bruthas (relatively cheap, good fit; he'll blossom. Darko has been freed.), Chauncey Billups re-upped wit Detroit for a reasonable payroll, and GRANT HILL'S GOING TO PHOENIX. That last is bitchin'. They got a great guy and great player for CHEAP, and if his ankle holds up anytime at all, it's a STEAL.

Shout out to Fanhouse for the vid , and The Cavalier at Yaysports for the second picture.

And to my boy Marcus Banks for dropping 42 in the summer leagues, which proves that summer leagues are shit.

Holla'

This is Why it's Hot, AND Why it's Not.

Some stuff was good. Some wasn't.

HOT: Ray Allen and Allen Ray playing on the same team. I mean, dur. Not to mention the scintillating drama in Boston after acquiring a 'superstar' to go with Paula Pierce...

NOT: except that they got a guy who's basically a lamer version of Paula, but with a better J, two fresh ankle surgeries, and 52 million dollars left on his contract. But they do have Big Baby.

HOT: The Knicks might actually be good. They got a 23-10 guy for basically nothing, and dumped a massive albatross contract.

NOT: New York is now the Mecca of chubby, offensive-minded, defensively-deficient big guys. Seriously, ain't nobody gonna play a LICK of defense on their frontline. I think New York was like, “Hey, you’ve got a chubby big and a lanky big (Z-Bo and Aldridge), and WE’VE got a chubby big and a lanky big (Curry and Frye), so why don’t we just consolidate? Our lanky for your chubby, eh? Oh, and take this guy too…he’s a ‘Franchise’ player.”

NOTE: Playing Z-Bo and Cupcake Curry at the same time is one thing; what if Portland played Oden, Aldridge, AND Carol Channing Frye at the same time, just for shits and giggles? The ultimate antidote to Small-Ball.

HOT: The Hawks actually drafting prudently.

NOT: Kind of messed up their narrative by drafting someone OTHER than a swingman (and they had such a nice collection started, too), but they might be pretty dang good in a couple years.
Wait, nevermind. It's the Hawks.

HOT: My Memphis brothers got the best point guard in the draft.

NOT: Sorry Pau; you guys are still going to suck for a couple years unless you get a really good big guy real quick. You do have a competent coach now though, so we'll see where that takes you.

HOT/NOT- it's both: Joakim Noah. I don't even know what to say. You got balls, but...Lord son, for already bein' ugly, you ain't doin anything to help yourself.

Cheers.

Attention NBA General Managers and Coaches

BigFootFool: Tonight you guys have some tough decisions to make. It's like taking a final exam in college or high school. Many of you will blow it off and Christmas Tree this test... or Pick C everytime... Knicks Front Office, I'm looking in your direction... Your decisions tonight will affect the next year and possibly the next ten years of your career. Many of you have done very well in the past on this test and have a system in place that allows you to plug many of these prospects in and for them to be successful, but it doesn't mean you should make your picks lightly, Spurs, Pistons, Suns and Mavs. Some of you have bad systems in place and need to figure out how to get around that... once again Knicks I'm looking in your direction. We're gonna skip over the Remedial Portion of the exam that the trailblazers and the Supersonics are taking. There are only two answers and they are both correct.

First things First. Draft Good players. Draft someone that will be around. Don't draft a bench warmer. That being said draft to fill a hole on your team also. Don't draft someone just because they are the best player left in the draft. For example...Last year the Hawks took a Small Forward. On their practice exam they put down "take a small forward, I don't care who he is". Last year the Hawks failed this exam and almost got lucky enough that they could've taken the remedial exam. So Atlanta Hawks, I want you to write down this statement "Don't Draft a small Forward".

Memphis. Last year you went from a playoff team(albeit swept in 4 games) to a team with not just a bad record, but a terrible record. I'm tempted to say draft a big man, but being a Memphis fan I don't wanna see Joakim Noah there, plus he's not the banger you would need. He's just another European ( wait a minute he went to college in Floriduh...Look it up... he's French) wussy like Pau Gasol. Get a Point Guard. Teach him to shoot threes and it will be like having Jason Williams all over again except not so white.

Boston. You need a good coach, but you can't draft that. Honestly the Offense is there with this team if the defense could get up to the same level. Corey Brewer is a good defensive player that has good offense, too. He could've jumped pro last year especially with his family's financial situation, but he chose to stay and helped rack up another college title. Good character guy. Take Corey Brewer, or take Yi JianLian and trade him. And hire a new coach. His scores on his coaching aptitude test are WAY low.

ok, so there are a few equations you need to understand:

Previously many of you have used these equations:

Players ability to be picked = 1/2Hype + 1/2Foreignness (i.e. Darko Milicic)

Pickability = 1/8Talent + 7/8individual collegiate success (i.e. Adam Morrison)

Pickability = WTF? (i.e. Renaldo Balkman)

Talent = PPG ranking in Foreign or Collegiate Ranks

Tonight use these equations:

Pickability = 5/8Talent + 3/8Team Needs

Pickability = 0*Foreigness + 0* Bad Attitude + 1/2Character + 1/2 Talent

Talent = Offensive + Defensive play

GMs I'll allow you to use this equation, too, but only if you are up front about it:

Pickability = Marketability + Profitability

So tonight when you are picking... Make the right call. Use your head and don't draft something that your owners will throw in your face when they drop you at the end of a 20 win season.

JTExperience: I agree with you for the most part, Bavetta; however, I gotta lay this down.

Portland and Seattle, if you draft anybody besides Kevin Durant or Greg Oden, you fail at life. Your team will be disbanded, or sold to OKC and Las Vegas, respectively. Just don't. No Sam Bowie's here. I pray that you won't make the same mistake twice, Portland. There's no way anyone who is not fucking batshit insane passes over a guy that is Bill Russel's older brother and a guy that is Kevin Garnett's and Tracy McGrady's love child. End of story.

Atlanta...Atlanta...I know how much you want to become Warriors-East, but please, for the love of all that is holy, don't draft a swingman. Your direst needs are at both ends of the spectrum: Big man and point guard. In a draft this stacked, get your big man, and pick up Acie Law IV with your 11th pick. Go big or go home. Draft Al Horford. He's tight as hell as a person, and a BEAST. He's ready to contribute RIGHT NOW.
No! NO! BAD! Do NOT draft another 6-8 guy! NO! Aw, fuckberries.

Memphis: Draft Al Horford. Wait, shit, he's already gone. Well, if Atlanta fucks up and takes a swingman (which is extremely likely), or takes Mike Conley Jr., take Horford. If not, take Mike Conley Jr. Kid is dope. Those are really the only two guys that Atlanta should take, so it follows that you should pick the other. However, Conley is NOT like Jason "3-ball anytime, anywhere" Williams, as my counterpart seems to want; he's a LOT whiter than J-Will.

Ok Boston "Best Young Talent in the League" Celtics...don't fuck up and take that Chinese guy. Just don't. Please. You don't need another 'project.' Also, I want so, so dearly to see him on the Warriors; adding a 7-foot swingman would make them the dopest team in the league, bar none. David J. Stern, this has to happen.
You've got a good young big in Al Jefferson, and you have a disgruntled superstar swingman...so...you really have no excuse for not winning more games in the Leastern Conference. That's freaking pathetic. And a lot of good your tanking asses did, because now you get to draft...Corey Brewer! Damn, we keep agreeing here.
Also, fire your coach. He blows. Throw out your GM while you're at it. He blows too.

The rest of the draft is a crapshoot. There are some good players...whatever. All I know is, Spencer Hawes will get picked WAY too high, Jeff Green will probably be picked WAY too low, and Yi Jianlin had BETTER fucking go to the Warriors. I have to see Yi and Stephen Jackson playing together.

Do NOT pick a guy based solely on his workouts playing against a chair or against 40+ year old assistant coaches. Also, do not pick Johnny McCollege because he averaged 33.5 points a game at PissAnt U. Basically, don't fuck up, or everyone hates you. Good thing the Knicks don't have a lottery pick; at least now they don't fail the test automatically.

NBA Draft: Explaining It to a Chick

BigFootFool: Ok, so your'e having trouble understanding why guys are getting all worked up about the NBA draft, huh? Well how can I put this in terms you understand...

Ok, So Grey's Anatomy is that show with the doctors that have too much sex and not enough life saving. So imagine that the Portland Trailblazers are the weird looking chick on the show that all the male doctors seems to like. I think the show is named after her, but anyway. She has first pick over all the guys, and so Tonight on ESPN she's going to pick one of the guys, but the thing is it doesn't matter which one she picks because she'll ultimately make bad decisions in other areas and self-destruct until that player becomes a Free Agent (has been around her long enough to get sick of her whining and attempts to kill herself) and goes to a better team and wins an NBA championship.

Ok and how to describe the rest of the field... Basically, you have like 16 teams that aren't like that and the rest all do the same thing. They pick someone that could be a great player, but make bad decision after bad decision until they self-destruct.

You get it now?

JTExperience: That is a very accurate description.

Although, I don't know how you could have "too much sex," as alleged in your third sentence. I guess if the sex cuts in to the lifesaving...then yeah. Really though, that's only bad if you are the one whose life needs saving. Otherwise...nah. Go to it.