The SEC Top to Bottom

1. LSU - The Tigers are number one in the country and dead last in our hearts.
2. Florida - Until they screw it up they still got it, but I don't see anyone stopping them until they play the SEC title game.
3. South Carolina - The Cocks get the nod after a big win at Georgia. With their rough schedule playing @ LSU, Tenn, and Arkansas they will either soar or be served up in the SEC Fried Chicken Bucket
4. Arkansas - If Darren McFadden and the hogs can pull off the road wins against Bama and Tennessee, they may find themselves in a position to challenge LSU for dominance in the West and the SEC. Injuries and defensive Miscues could put them out of games they should win.
5. Tennessee - After suffering a 45-31 loss to Cal in week 1 it's impressive the Vols are up this high on the Scale, but with QB Erik Ainge they can play with anyone. A loss at Florida might cause them to slip if Kentucky can match up to Louisville
6. Alabama - Bama has a tough crew coming into their house, but look for them to try to expose the Arkansas weakness in the Defensive Secondary. If Terry Grant can continue grabbing games of 150 yards or more look for the Tide to challenge LSU for the West. The tide have LSU coming to Tuscaloosa : UPSET ALERT
7. Kentucky - The Wildcats are riding Woodson's coattails, but if they can't put up a win for the SEC against Big East Louisville look for them to spin out of control for the rest of the season.
8. Georgia - A week 1 win against Oklahoma State had Georgia at the top of the East last week, but a loss to USC puts them down to 5th edging out Vandy. Look for them to bounce back. They still think they can win the East, but they need to get over their Florida Phobia.
9. Auburn - K. State was too close... South Florida??? Really? If you go through and start beating SEC teams now you're gonna make our conference look bad. The only thing Auburn should look forward to is another Iron Bowl Victory this season.
10. Vandy - With a win over Ole Miss Vandy may gain some confidence, but it may not be enough to make it through the top 5 teams in the East.
11. Mississippi St. - Winning on the road against C-USA bottom dweller Tulane gave the Bulldogs some confidence, but facing a pissed off Auburn team this week will push Mississippi St. down to their coveted number 12 spot.
12. Ole Miss - Too close with Memphis and then losing to Mizzou. The Rebels better get it going against Vandy this week or they may hold on to the 12 spot for another week.

The JTExperience Alternate Rankings:

1. LSU - Yeah, ok...these guys are pretty fucking good. Outscoring teams like 45436-7 in their first two games...Glenn "Meast-man" Dorsey eats folding metal chairs for breakfast and washes 'em down with battery acid. I wish he was my dad, or at least my uncle or something.
   
2. Florida - Tebow is the truth. I used to think that he's just a big white kid who can bust through the line on short yards.....but he's got an arm on him too. They'll plow through the East just as Tebow plows through UF sororities. Look out, Nikki Meyer.
   
3. Arkansas - They fucking rock too. Ok, the secondary is kinda weak (like a lot) and every time QB Casey (I have no) Dick touches the ball my scrotum clenches a little, but Darren McFadden makes up for all of it. I mean, he's rated a 99 on NCAA '08, which means he's God. And Felix Jones is better than most all others as well. Our THIRD STRING runner in Michael Smith even kicks ass. They're a one trick pony, but they do that one trick really well.
   
4. South Carolina - Surprised the hell out of everyone by beating Georgia, including those of us who think we know a lot about football. Strangely enough, it was their defense that strangled Jo-Ja, while Coach Spurrier is much better known for his offensive game. This team is an enigma, wrapped in a cloak of mystery, etc.
   
5. Georgia - Where the hell did these guys come from? They lost to the freaking Cocks, but everyone's picking them to do really well by doing things like winning lots of games, etc. Whatever. Here they are.
6. Tennessee - So does anyone else remember when Erik Ainge only got the start because he sucked less than Bitchass Clausen? Apparently he's "good" now or something. Whatever. They have ugly colors, and play an obnoxious fight song.
7. Alabama - They're actually better than I'm giving them credit for...but at the end of the day in the SEC, they'll still end up middle of the pack. They've got talent, a really expensive coach, a shitty kicker, and a lot of hard teams to play.
   
8. Auburn - They some pussies for losing to South Florida. That's absurd.
   
9. Kentucky - Good QB, some talent on both sides....wait a minute, who am I kidding? It's Kentucky.
   
10. Vanderbilt - May have the most high-class poon in the SEC, but they still suck at football. Good job guys.
    
11. Mississippi State - Yeah, got their asses handed to them by LSU, but....it's LSU. They're really fucking good (See #1). But both the Mississippi schools blow, so here they are. At least they're not #12, but I don't think that'll be enough to keep Sylvester Croom's job.
12. Ole Miss - Bitches. The Big O better start shouting around somewhere else for new employment.